Whole

Chapter 22

This song though...<3

Masato's POV

My eyes watched at the tranquil scenery passed us as we drove to our next destination. The others were out the front, drinking, going wild, but I wasn't in the mood to join them.

I missed Kat to the point my chest hurt. I was fine when we were up on stage, doing what I loved, with the band I adored. I was also fine when we were with the fans, meeting them, talking to them, signing autographs, and taking pictures. However, as soon as I picked up my phone, my background a photo of us kissing as we took a walk through Shirotori Garden, my heart ached. Then, when I heard her voice, the pain grew.

The words from one of our earlier songs that once, on a personal level, were just words began to hold real meaning to me.

Cause everywhere I go you're always on my mind

But I just wish you wouldn't call me tonight

Cause when I hear your voice, it reminds me of the choice

I made to not always be by your side

And every time you cry you keep the pain inside

You lie for me with "everything's alright."

Now it's hard to say it's always hard to say

I miss you

I knew all too well, some nights when we spoke, she was silently crying, but telling me everything was all right. I knew that because that's precisely what I did, too. We talked, we communicated, but equally, neither of us wanted the other to know exactly how much we were hurting.

She didn't want me to know, because she feared it might influence the band too much. She made it clear to me; she would never leave me with a choice, her or the band. She told me countless times she never wanted to get in the way of the thing I'd dreamed of doing ever since I could remember. She never wanted to be the reason I decided to step back or leave.

I didn't want her to know how much it hurt me either, because I knew my pain would equally hurt her. She was one of those kinds of people who carried the pain of the people she loved with her. If her friend was hurting, so was she. I also didn't want her to think that it was her fault that this life had become just a little less to me than before.

However, we both knew deep down how much the other hurt; it was a pain shared between two people who loved each other. One more week, and I'd be able to hold her again. I'd be able to smell that apple scent of the body mist she wore daily. I'd feel her skin on mine and her lips against mine.

I would continue to live this life, but that future, with Katsuko as my wife, with our children, that was my goal. That's what I was doing this for now. So I could give her and the children we had a good life. It was no longer for me; it was for her and our future together.

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I waited patiently as Skype connected our call, and I could see her face pop up on my screen.

"You have awful timing." She giggled as finally, the call connected, and I saw her face smiling at me. Her hair was tousled and wet with a light blue towel wrapped around her. "You said half eleven; I thought I had time for a quick shower! I almost slipped running to the laptop."

I couldn't help but laugh, "I'm sorry, baby, we got done a little early. Didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"No, thankfully, I have a decent balance. How was the show?"