Infamous Gray (Sequel to NLOA)

Chapter 21 - Part One

I'm going away for a week so this is just half a chapter, I'll write the other half when I get back, thank you for patiently and not so patiently waiting for an update :)

Hope you have a happy holidays and Merry Christmas!

xo

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"Is it possible to die from a broken heart?" I said in between deep, and painful breath's.

Liams gaze seemed distant and it very soon matched his voice. "Yeah, but I've only heard about old people dying from a broken heart; it was more like heart failure though"

"Well I think I'll be the first 18 year old" At this point in time it was almost impossible to stop crying. The tears just continued to spill out of my eyes with the same destruction as a spilt coke would be in the middle of In-N-Out.

The security guard that we had encountered before, managed to sneak us out to the back of the hospital before disappearing back inside, not giving us a chance to question his actions. Why was he helping us?

"I" Andre paused and I clutched his hand tighter. "I can't believe he- this happened"

We all seemeed to be so out of it that we all jumped when we heard two car doors slam shut. I heard footsteps thump on the ground and I looked up to see Jake and Kyle towering over us with torn expressions. Liam, Andre and I stuggled to stand up, I didn't know about the other two, but I didn't have the energy or motivation to stand up. I could've sat there forever in eternal pain but also darkness and a feeling of numbness.

"I'm so sorry guys" Kyle held his arms open and we all, inlcuding Jake, stepped in for a group hug. We were silent, wallowing in our own disabelief, sadness, and emptyness.

"It was so unexpected but of course we would of had to expect something like this to happen" Jake whispered.

"I think we should go home or whatever we're meant to call it and just be together" My eyes were open, staring at the asphalt with no intention to find anything, because I knew I already lost it all.

The ride back home was quiet. It was so quiet I could hear our staggered breathing. I kept thinking how Austin would be fine right now if I hadn't of had my panic attack. It should of been me. Not him. He didn't deserve this, he should still be alive. I was too afraid to close my eyes because there seemed to be a constant film of Austin and I behind my eye lids. It showed the best and worse aspects to our relationships, our first kiss to our goodbyes, our time spent in the forest clearing to being kidnapped.

I did say we should go home so we could all be together but when we got home, my eyes glazed over the guys and girls as I passed them to head to my room. The sound of the door closing behind me either barely made a sound as it closed or I just didn't hear it because when I was laying down with a pillow clutched firmly in my arms, I saw the door was closed.

The tears had stopped so no stains were left to be on the pillow but to replace the tears, I started to bite the inside of my mouth and I felt myself shaking ever so slightly. This god damn pillow still smelt like the lynx he literally bought yesterday and had sprayed on last night before bed. It got cold so I pulled the blanket over me and closed my eyes.

"Avery?" I heard Kyles soft voice.

"Hm?" I opened one eye and saw him climb into bed next to me. His prsence had always been a comfort to me and while his comfort was here right now, it didn't offer enough of it.

"I'm really sorry Avery" He reached his hand out to hold mine.

I sat up and moved closer to him so he could wrap an arm around my shoulders and stared at the sheets, so serene and still just like Austin's face as he made his final breath. "So am I"