Let Me Be Your Gravity (COMPLETE)

Nine

Just a warning this chapter contains very sensitive material. The subject is sexual assault so please be cautious while reading.

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Memories

As I pull into the school parking lot the next morning my eyes get stuck on Carter's car. Outside the car he's standing with Sam a giant smile plastered on his face. I past them going to the end of the row before parking. Typical Carter and Sam like I've said before they're meant for each other.

I get out of the car feeling a pit in my stomach as much as I tried to shake it off I couldn't. I make my way across the lot keeping my head down. Walking with Carter yesterday gave me more courage but being alone brought out the introvert in me.

'You can do this.' I say over and over in my head as I hear a whistle coming from behind me. I briefly turn my head to see Carter running towards me with no Sam in sight.

"I've been calling your name I thought you were ignoring me." He says once he catches up to me.

"Naw just lost in my own world." My voice cracks as I speak.

"Tell me about it." He sends me his usual smirk. I glance over feeling my heart race as our eyes briefly meet.

"Honestly I was giving myself a pep talk." I shrug fumbling with the strap on my backpack.

"Well let me help." He suddenly stands in front of me resting his hands on my shoulders. "You're beautiful, funny and strong. You're gonna kill it today." He looks straight into my eyes as if to make sure i believe every word that just came out of his mouth.

I feel my cheeks go red as he moves away. "Thanks Carter that was really nice." I send him a small smile as we continue to the front of school. "I saw you with Sam... how's that going?"

"She told me she wants us to be friends..." he trails off as a football is being thrown in our direction. He jumps in the air catching it before throwing it back to a group of his friends.

"Good catch man!" Brett one of Carter's teammates yells.

"I guess I'll see you at lunch?" I question looking nervously towards the group of Carter's friends. He looks from them to me.

"Yeah sounds good Henley." He smiles before heading over to the group.

I give him one last wave before heading in through the front doors. I navigate my way through the halls to my locker. I open it trying to looking busy as I wait for the bell to ring. "Where's Carter?" A voice says from behind me. I turn around seeing Sam's best friend Lily. Her arms are crossed as she stares at me demandingly.

I shrug. "With his friends I think." I mumble looking down.

"You should stay away from him." She narrows her eyes on me. "You're the reason my best friends heart is broken."

A laugh flows out of my mouth before I can stop it. "Don't worry I'm not a threat to anyone. Don't waste your time on me."

"What'd you just say?" She asks staring me down.

"I said grow the fuck up." I shake my head closing my locker before walking towards the back of school to the soccer fields. After that confrontation I needed some fresh air. Unfortunately it also brought me back to reality. It reminded me why I only kept Cecilia close all these years.

Flashback to Freshman Year

The dark surrounds me as I hear loud music and laughter coming from the other side of the door. I take a deep breath as I sit cross cross on the floor of the closet anticipating the door to open any minute. Seven minutes in Heaven.

This is my first party without Cecilia. She got sick at the last minute and begged me to go without her. Now I'm stuck waiting to play this stupid game.

After what seems like hours the door slowly opens as someone creeps in. "Where are you?" Their voice comes out smoothly as they feel around for me. My eyes adjust to the brief light change as the guy in the closets touches the top of my head.

"I've never done this before." I whisper feeling my voice shake as they kneel down beside me.

"It'll be okay." The voice says reaching out and touching my shoulder softly.

"I don't really wanna do anything honestly. I didn't have that much of a choose." I whisper as I feel there hands go down my back softly.

"Ill make it worth your while." The voice says as I push his hands off me. "Relax it will be okay." I feel his face coming closer causing the panic in me to raise. I haven't even had my first kiss before and I definitely didn't wanna give it to some random guy at a stupid party.

Before I can even think I push him away from me standing up quickly. "I said I didn't wanna do anything." My voice comes out shakily.

"Then why are you here?" He growls lowly causing all the hairs on my body to stand up. He presses his body in mine trapping me against the wall. "Just be a good slut like all the other girls." He whispers in my ear as I try to push him off me.

A feeling of warmth spreads across my cheek as I feel his hand slam against my face. "Help me!" I start screaming pushing him as hard as I can before running for the door. As my hand grabs the door knob I feel his rough hands around my ankle pulling me down to the ground. I start screaming louder hoping someone will hear me over the music as he turns me over so I'm facing him. He quickly straddles me holding me down with all his weight.

"Please just stop." My voice comes out soft and pathetic as I feel myself giving up.

"Stop being so difficult." He growls wrapping his hands around my throat. I nod waiting for his hands to tighten but instead he takes one off before he leans down and kisses me roughly. I feel tears stream down my face as he continues to kiss me. His free hand starts undoing his pants as I freeze.

In that moment I was trapped in an out of body experience watching from above as he violates my body. After a minute or so the door opens "times up!" Another voice yells before closing the door again.

The guy in the closet with me finally takes his hand off of my throat. "I didn't even get off, you bitch." He growls pulling himself together before leaving. I sit up mentally urging myself to pull it all together.

Something changed inside of me in that moment. I knew I couldn't say anything it would be all over school. This was my little secret. I learned the hard way that you couldn't trust anyone.

I breathe out slowly pulling my knees to my chest as I blink away the tears that were starting to form as the repressed memory comes back. It finally hit me hard the only person I could truly trust was gone. My only protection. Suddenly the fear that I managed to push away was back. The same fear I felt that night and for months after the incident was reinforced in me. I feel my body start to shake as the bell for first period rings.

Instead of heading to class I grab my bag walking towards the parking lot hoping the school security won't see me. Once I get in my car I drive and drive mindlessly until I find myself pulling up to the spot Carter took me. The lookout.

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This chapter was pretty difficult to write.
I probably rewrote it 3 times. If anyone needs to talk I'm an open ear.