Cessation

Low Trust Levels

CHERYL's POINT OF VIEW
Continued from the last chapter;

Putting myself back into reality, I looked into Shemar's eyes and found myself unable to tell him the truth.

The what if that played in my head knew that he would probably do what I was afraid he was gonna do.

He would take the matter into his own hands and I didn't want that. This happened to me and so, that means that I'm the one who has to protect myself. Shemar is known to protect me but as we can see, not all the time...

"Cheryl, are you gonna answer me? You've been standing there daydreaming this whole time. So, you said...."something could've happened"...what could have happened?" He asked me as he continued standing in front of me upset from previously.

I shook my head and thought back to my daydream. Him getting that gun and leaving this house to go do God knows what...

"I-...I don't know, honestly, Shemar. There's no explanation to it other than I'm just afraid of it all..."

He sucked his teeth and put his hands back on top of his head. "Afraid of what, Cheryl?"

I shrugged my shoulders and dropped my head. "I don't know...I guess, having a fourth child? It's complicated,"

He furrowed his eyebrows together and dropped his arms. "How? Cheryl, do you know how long I've known you and how much shit you done told me? How is it complicated to talk to me?"

"I'm not saying that it's complicated to talk to you! I'm saying that this baby thing is complicated!" I said as I started to get frustrated all over again.

He then threw his hands up. "I'm done with it. Done. I really am. You've pushed me past the damn limit, I promise you. Like I said last night, you already know what we're gonna be using from now on. Since, one, you don't wanna tell me why you used the damn pills and two, you still just find it hard to be real with me. Now, how in the HELL is that hard, Cheryl?" He rushed to ask me.

I just stared at him and found myself unable to say another word. "Now you don't wanna talk to me?" He asked immediately.

I looked away from him and closed my eyes for a small moment. Seconds later, I opened my eyes and found him still staring at me.

"Fine, man. Told you how I felt but whenever I yell and shit- I'm the fucked up one, huh?"

"And did I say that? When have you ever heard me say that?" I asked him almost abruptly.

"That's what you still don't understand, Cheryl. You don't have to say shit to me. All you have to do is ACT! Your actions! If you control those, then, maybe I'll take your words. Until then, the way you act is what I'll base everything off with...."

"Can you just stop before you say something you'd wish you never did say...." I said as I dropped my head and stared down at my feet. I was trying so hard to end this conversation somehow.

"Too late. We both already did that. Now, are you gonna fess up and be real with me? Why did you take the pill?" He asked as he looked at me sternly.

"Because! I already told you why, Shemar! Just drop it! Can me being afraid of having another child be good enough for you?" I questioned him.