WAIT

#5 "A Work In Progress"

"So what are we watching?"

The question slipped out of Tenille's lips as she occupied the space on the olive cushioned couch beside Kait.

Kait's shoulders rose and fell, her mind keeping her as it's prisoner.

She'd mentally prepared herself to tell her truth to Tenille but her mind kept convincing her not to.

The task at hand was too difficult as her irises glanced at the sihoulette of the vanilla latte woman beside her.

They had done life together, becoming friends at the mere age of five, each life experience, every evidence of growth, hurt and pain, both women felt simultaneously.

Which is why confession seemed to be such a hard task. The only aspect of her life that she'd hid from her best friend, Kait feared would be the one thing to pull them apart.

Her inner women hid as her mind played every possible image in her head of how the night could go.

Shame ate at the pit of her stomach like a baby vampire inside a mother's womb. Her chest felt tight and as every second went by on the clock, she found it harder to breathe. She wanted to gasp for air but Tenille would know that something was wrong.

The vanilla glazed Barbie as Kaitlyn called her always knew when something was not right. She was the voice of reason most of the time in the Kaitlyn's overly active mind.

They balanced out each other, where Kait was an emotional ocean, seconds away from spilling its contents. Tenille was the shoreline that kept the ocean from going any further. Allowing the ocean to pour out all its secrets.

Her fingers twitched on her grey sweats.

Fear was the one thing that made her a coward. It crippled her at times.

Made her beg for the five year old that wasn't afraid to speak her mind. That didn't care about society's standards of beauty or how a girl should be but just basked in every moment. She just enjoyed life with her infectious spunk.

Her five year old self would laugh at the woman staring back at her in the mirror. She allowed fear to consume her, she would call her spineless, call her weak. This wasn't how she was raised, she had a voice and it was meant to be heard whether people liked it or not. But here she sat two spaces away from her best friend, afraid to speak her mind.

Kait tugged at her fingers, allowing the words to slip out of her mouth. Like a string of spaghetti that didn't make the cut.

"I used to watch pornography and struggled with masturbation."

The words left a bad taste in her mouth as her palms reached for her eyes, shielding them from the expression that might run across the woman's face.

The room fell silent, as if the entire world had stopped with her one confession. Even her heart felt like if it was giving up on her, the drum beating at an even slower pace.

"What?"

The question rendered her speechless as her stomach tightened.

"Please don't make me repeat it."

Her voice was like a plea, her inner child barely recovering from the confession she'd given earlier this week. Another blow had been too soon.

"When did this happen?"

"Around age it. I was introduced to it and it just never stopped."

The silence in between the four walls were deafening. Like words were being thrown into the atmosphere without being spoken.