Paul McCartney - Love Life

Helping Ringo

I've given Starkey a cup of tea and I sat on the couch next to him with one leg crossed over the other.  Soon Ringo explained the story from this early morning,

     "I had a date planned with this girl that I was attracted too at 7 O Clock in the morning.  So I cleaned myself up this morning and I went out to the cafe to meet her there.  Everything had been perfectly fine and normal so far, now when I went into the cafe too meet her and we had a good talk but, it was something about the music she said, that I didn't like.  She said to me, 'The band your in is one of the greatest but, you don't seem to sing very well.'  For me after hearing that, I felt greatly offended but I tried my best to stay calm,"

"I told her that I don't sing much anyways and I was just the drummer.  She might've not heard that but, god, for being as gorgeous as she is, she's actually really stupid and rude and I wanted to find a way to politely break off the date at the cafe' y'know?  So while we were waiting for our tea I might've said something that was a bit too harsh,"

"Oh christ, what did you say Ringo..." I said to my friend brushing my hand against my forehead.

He sighed and continued, " I told her that her opinions were okay to say, but, I said to her, 'Well what is it with your black eyeliner and eye shadow?  It seems fairly unattractive to wear makeup when you can just be your normal self.'  After I had said that I felt like an idiot, and you know what happened next?   She totally went off on me, she slapped me in the face.  Hard.  Boy she had one hell of a slap!  Part of my face was in pain when I looked back to her she said, 'You are such bollocks Starkey!' then she got up and walked out of the cafe,"

"I was startled and I didn't care to drink my tea when it arrived.  So I went out to look for her but she was already gone, and there was still a red mark upon my face and I felt very dizzy.  I found myself in the middle of the street near where the cafe is, and I turn to suddenly see the Double-Decker bus.  And it hit me just like that.  My clothes became torn and dirty, quickly getting up with a trip I ran off down the street as the bus honked it's horn at me,"

"Soon I ran into some German Shepherds that barked at me from the neighborhood.  One of em attacked me, tearing me' trousers and collared shirt.  I tripped again but got up and continued to run from the dogs until I lost them, afterwards I felt miserable walking on my own and felt bad luck y' know?  I was walking down the sidewalk and found your flat.  Now here I am..."

After Ringo finished his story I set my saucer cup and tea on the table in front of me,

"Well thas' one hell of a story Richie.  God I'm so sorry about that."

"What should I do better for a date do you think?"

"First of all, you need to find the girl that really likes you, not criticizes you.  They would be rude to you in different ways,  you need to find the girl that likes you for the way you are.  Next, you have to be polite and ask about what they like and what workforce they are in.  Photography, Artist, Journalism, Reporter, Editor, all that sorts of stuff."  I explained to Ringo with a grin.

"I guess your right.  That sounds much better than getting hit by a bus." Starkey laughed out loud.  

"Yea, definitely." I replied nodding my head.

"Sometimes I doubt myself though, thinking I'll never get a bird.  All those girls out there think you, John, and George are better looking than me."  

I shook my head, "What?!  You've gotta be joking, every fangirl out there doesn't just like me, George, and John, they like you as well.  Ringo, every fangirl would give anything to anyone just meet you!"

"I'm out of key, small, short, and I've got a big nose, how could I possibly be attractive to all those fangirls when your striking looks have already got yourself a girlfriend?  John with a wife, and now George with a girlfriend!"  Ringo shook his head scoffing.

"Ringo...Haven't you read all your fanmail?  You've got tons of fangirls dying to be with you in bed!" I laughed joking with him.  Ringo smiled,

"Okay, that's true... but it still doesn't help me find someone who cares for the person who I really am.  I'm just a man who wishes to commit to a full life, y'know peace and love all that sorts of stuff."

I had my friend by the shoulder, "Richie, you'll find that love of yours, you'd just have to be yourself.  Be the kind, respectful, --and to be honest, be the adorable Beatle you are.  There will be that one girl that you'll love for the rest of your life, and you can keep rolling with it.  You don't always have to try so hard."

Ringo Starr looked to me feeling much better than he had when he walked through my flat door,

"Thank you Paul, you're a great lad."

"Ah your welcome mate, come on lets' have a smoke yeah?" I stood up off the couch and went outside taking too cigarettes from me' pockets, I put the cigarette between me' lips and light it with my lighter.  Ringo takes the other one from me and I light his cig for him.  Soon the two of us stood outside of my flat looking out towards the street with the building flats on the other side.  

  Ringo took his cig out between his fingers and blew a drag of smoke,

"Say.  I was wondering if you and John would put the "Act Naturally" song on the next album.  Whatever your album name is gonna be."

I replied blowing out a drag of smoke as well, "I think that would be great, I'd have to talk to John first yes, y'know George was asking the same thing for the song he wants to sing with, "You Like Me Too Much." I think it I would allow that."

Starkey nodded his head, "Sounds good too me."