A Rose In The Wild

2-Am I A Killer?

"It will be a lovely reminder baby," my mom said.

"let me just take a few pics before you leave" my mom had been insistent to click my pics the moment I returned this morning.

I had successfully avoided going out Sunday even though D and Vi had used all the methods to get me out of bed. "Come on Rose you look stunning. Dude get out from under those covers" Diya had commented.

Well, she was the one to talk, no one was going to give her strange looks. I don't know how but she had somehow evaded Violet and her stupid makeover kit.

"You are overreacting now," Vi said. That made me snap. I've been giving her the silent treatment ever since. 

"No, no I am not OVERREACTING" I glanced at the floor-length mirror on her wall. I had blonde highlights. Freaking blonde highlights.

"They are temporary," Vi said.

"This will come off in 3 days." Well even though she said it won't come off for 3 days I still tried to wash it off.
Didn't come off but I swear the hairs looked browner. That gave me some peace of mind to go to school.

I had my hairs up in a bun so tight that it was a surprise my hair was still on my head.

My mom, however, loved it.

She loved my new highlights and wanted me to make it a permanent thing. But uh uh it wasn't happening so she wanted to get pics. As many pics as she could. She had been clicking through breakfast and kept taking more till I was out the door in my car.
Well, I guess it could have been worse. I met D and Vi at the gate and we went in together.

Classes were a blur.

My attention kept getting caught on the necklace I wear. It felt different as if there was something wrong with it. I opened and closed it all day. Looking at the picture of a cute blonde boy with beautiful eyes and a crooked nose. I knew I couldn't get him back but I wish I could turn back time.
My fault.

The last two weeks seemed like another lifetime as if I had nothing to worry about. As if I wasn't the reason for what had happened to Ethan.
I felt even more guilty now. I wasn't paying attention to my calculus class. My mind was reeling with guilt when Ms. Warner called on me. She asked me something which I could not hear at her first attempt. When she repeated the question I still had no answer. She looked angry now. But someone on the backbench distracted her by making cat noises and she left to torment whoever that blessed soul was, cause I could have gotten in trouble for not paying attention in class. At lunch, both Violet and Diya knew something was wrong.
God, I needed to get my shit together but I just couldn't. I kept reminding myself that I wasn't back in Florida. I tried but it did not work.
I don't even remember driving back home. My mom took my face in and instantly pulled me in a hug. She knew. She knew that the torment will start in me again. That leaving Florida had not helped my case. She just stood there. I breathed in her scent. The familiar shampoo, the smell of her favorite soap. It felt good to be surrounded by something so familiar. I locked myself in my room after that. Even my mother knew that to leave me alone was the best thing she could do for me. I did all my homework to distract myself.
Finished reading the novel we were currently reading. But even after mentally exhausting myself I still felt like bashing my head into a wall.

I had a basic room. Blue walls and white curtains. The best thing was I had my own bathroom. Then I did something that I haven't ever done before. I took an unnecessary cold medicine to knock me out.

I started cleaning my room and arranging my wardrobe while I waited for the medicine to kick in, I hadn't had time to arrange my wardrobe since I came here.

After that, I just lay on my bed without thinking much and somewhere in the middle of my jumbled thoughts the medicine worked and I was asleep.

And then the nightmare began.

I was looking at the broken bike of the boy whose heart I had just broken. I liked him a lot. I did. But I had to break up with him. For his own sake.

I yelled for him to come back while the police held me back from running towards the broken bike which was now surrounded by yellow tape that had a crime scene written all over it.

And I woke up with a start.

I whispered to myself "Am I a killer?"

I can't believe I took the time out to edit the second chapter as well. I think I will continue this and polish the whole book from top to bottom.

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Byee