Blame- Prinxiety

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Requested by @PhysicallyFightYou Angst Prompt #19: "Maybe I'm meant to be alone." We get to see a sad Roman so yay?? And because I can, we're starting with some good ol' Virgil POV. Let's get it.

EDIT: Wattpad deleted the ending again, so this is finally finished correctly. This is the 2nd time it's done this, not counting when it deleted my first draft of this. So sorry!! Wattpad just hates me.

How could he stand it? Flirting with anything that moves? Roman went around, chatting up every piece of skirt he saved, getting numbers from every guy he talked to. It didn't make sense to me. There was no commitment or stability. There wasn't even a chance of real human connection. And maybe, just maybe, I was jealous.

Roman had flirted with the entirety of the mind palace, save his brother, thank God. Deceit flirted back and left. Logan studiously ignored him and Patton took it as compliments. Me? I got flustered and ran away, but not before running into at least one piece of furniture.

Outwardly, I seemed fine. Inside, I was screaming. This Disney prince holding my hand whispering sweet nothings to me? I was doomed from the moment he looked at me. But that didn't mean I was going down without a fight. I responded with snark and sarcasm. It didn't seem to deter him. So we were stuck in this cycle.

"Hey, honey." I heard a voice in my ear as I sat on the couch. To no one's surprise, there was Roman leaning in next to me. "Tell me, are you religious?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. I was so tired of this, but that didn't mean I didn't get butterflies in my stomach. "What? Why?"

"Because you're the answer to all my prayers." He leaned even closer as his lips ghosted over my ears. I shuddered and sat up, letting Roman tumble over into my seat.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I held onto my arms and glared. Roman had the gall to look surprised. Surprised, after all the bullshit he had done!

"What are you talking about?" Roman shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

"Why do you always do this... this pointless flirting?!" I challenged, not even caring about my raised voice. Who cared who heard now?

"Virgil, calm do-" Roman reached out to me but I swatted his hand away.

"Don't! Don't you fucking dare tell me to calm down!" I was aware I was screaming at this point and the others had come out to see the commotion. Patton stepped forward but Logan drew him back. "I don't have to calm down! Just because this is a game to you doesn't mean people aren't hurt! You don't think it kills me a little more every time you come back to me?!" The edges of my vision were blurring with tears. "You know what?! Forget it! Just because I was stupid enough to catch feelings for you," I didn't stop as the words kept tumbling from my lips. I ignored the pain on Roman's face. "It doesn't mean you owe me anything. So just keep your distance." I fled from the room, realizing I had just confessed a lot of things at once.
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"Virgil, please?" I was aware of something ceramic being pushed against my leg. Patton rubbed my back. "You haven't eaten in a while. It's been days." Had it? I wasn't sure.

"...where is he?" My words were slurring together but I didn't care. I tugged the blanket around me and sighed.

"Roman's in his room, I tried to get him to eat but he won't," Of course, Patton knew exactly what I meant. "I tried, Logan tried, I almost had Deceit or Remus try but we weren't that desperate yet."

"...he's alone?" I couldn't stop caring about that simple fact.

"I think he feels a little bad," Patton sympathized, trying to soften the truth.

"Of course he feels bad, I screamed at him like a psycho." I leaned to the side and rested my head on Patton's shoulder. "I just... I don't know what happened."

"Maybe you should go hear him out." Patton put his head on top of mine. "It might help."

"Or make things so much worse. God, I really screwed up, didn't I?" I clamped my eyes shut, but I could see Roman's expression of pain. "It just built up and then... I hurt him. I hurt him. Patton, I hurt him." I couldn't stop the tears from softly streaming down my face. "I just think I want to be alone right now. Do you mind?"

"Not at all, kiddo." Patton gave me a side-hug before he stood up and walked towards the door. "Call if you need anything at all."

"Thanks." I didn't even turn to see him leave. 5 seconds. 10 seconds. I clutched the weighted blanket and dragged myself to the door. A few steps later, I was in front of Roman's room. The door was slightly cracked open. I watched from the small opening and saw Roman bracing himself against his dresser, talking to himself in the mirror.

"How's that irony, Roman?" His tone was sharp and pointed, the way you talked to someone who despised. I had heard it from my own mouth often enough. "You go around, testing your luck. Someone has to respond, right? Wrong!" He slammed his fist onto the top, startling me. Translucent angry tears streaked his face. "No one gives a rat's ass! And finally, for once, you got someone! Someone who you really liked, who was cute and made you laugh. He got your references, he put up with you and was amazing! And you ruined that too. Because you couldn't talk to the one person you loved!" He tried to slam the table again, but it lacked the strength and ire from moments ago.

"You're pathetic. Maybe it's all connected." His voice was broken in between whispers and fully-formed words. "Maybe you're meant to be alone." He looked at himself in the mirror, which had a long crack down the middle. "Maybe I'm meant to be alone."

I clasped a hand over my mouth to hide my wracking sobs. I should have gone in and kissed him till he was numb. Until he couldn't remember any name but mine. I should have fixed this. But I didn't. I stood there and watched as the man I loved fell apart. I took a step back and ran.

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So, I'm sorry this is really bad. I kind of lost all motivation on this one after writing it three times because Wattpad hates me. And my angst writing leaves something to be desired, I know. But FINALLY (barring any unforeseen circumstances) this is the completed oneshot! Thank God! I hope it was still at least kind of okay? I love you guys so much. Take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!

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