Sanders Sides Oneshots

Healing- Prinxiety

This wasn't requested. I've just been in a really dark place lately and I vented in this piece. If you squint hard enough, you can see Prinxiety in there. But this was mostly just for me.

TW: Depression, PTSD symptoms, mild self-harm, mentions of abusive relationships

Roman held a special place in his heart for the bastard boyfriend that tore Virgil apart. He may have never verbally admitted it but he knew if they ever crossed paths again, there wouldn't be a second's hesitation. He would tear him limb from limb. It's what he deserved. It's what Virgil deserved.

Virgil hadn't gotten the closure he should have had. He should have been able to break up with him. He should have been able to kick him out of their shared apartment. He should have been the one to burn mementos of the past. But this wasn't new. This was just another thing that had been taken from him.

Virgil had come to Roman in the middle of the night, banging on his front door. Roman opened the door after looking through the peephole and Virgil collapsed into his arms sobbing. He had gotten him into the house and calmed him into a state where he could talk about what happened. Not just on that night, what happened all the times Virgil hadn't told Roman why he came over with ugly bruises and scars on his neck.

Roman insisted Virgil moved in with him for the meantime; it was the least he could do. And while it was a kindness for Virgil, there was a motive to the action. Roman had known Virgil all his life and he had struggled with depression before. This, of all things, would be the thing to send him cascading over the deep end again. Roman wanted to keep him around just to watch him. He knew the signs now, he knew how to help.

The next morning, Roman had agreed to go over to Virgil's old apartment to collect his things. He had carefully combed through the apartment to find everything he could need and left, but not before giving the jackass a well-deserved right hook to the jaw. He couldn't help himself, he was always going to be Virgil's prince when he needed him.

And just as he had thought, a few days after Virgil moved into Roman's spare room, he seemed to relapse. Virgil wouldn't often leave his room, even forgetting to eat. When asked almost anything, he couldn't remember. He didn't even remember the last time he took a shower. Roman would wake up in the middle of the night to check on him and Virgil wouldn't be asleep. He claimed he couldn't. But he remained enclosed in the blankets and warmth.

"Virgil?" It was the fourth day of Virgil living with Roman. Roman sat at the edge of the bed and stared at the broken friend in front of him. His eyes were bloodshot but he hadn't heard crying and his hair was an absolute mess. Some deep part of Virgil registered the question and the fact that there were a million things that needed to be done but there was no motivation to do any of it. "Virgil, can you hear me?"

Virgil nodded and Roman quietly sighed to himself in relief. It was a start. "Virgil, have you been taking your anxiety medication?" Roman asked, extending his hand. Virgil shook his head but didn't acknowledge the hand. "Have you run out?" Another shake of the head. Roman didn't push further. That was another thing he learned: never push.

"What did I do wrong?" Virgil looked into Roman's eyes and could practically hear his heart shatter. And seeing the pure concern in someone else's view broke him. The sudden tears burst forward and he couldn't seem to stop himself. Maybe he didn't want to stop himself. He was tired of hiding everything. So many people told him it was weakness, men shouldn't cry. But Virgil grabbed Roman's hand and began to sob. Roman pulled him close to his chest and held him.

This, he could understand. This, he knew how to help.
__ __

"Hi, Roman."

"Hey, Virgil." Roman set the towel on the kitchen counter and looked at his friend walking through the front door. After talking it through, they had decided to send him back to therapy. He had only been going for the last 3 weeks, but Roman could see the vast improvements. But something wasn't quite right, he couldn't say what it was. "How are you doing?"

Virgil closed the door absentmindedly and flinched at the sound. "I'm alright," he said but he didn't look Roman in the eye. Roman noted he hadn't looked at him all day. "I need to go take a shower."

"You took one this morning." Roman tilted his head to the side. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just... need another one." Virgil's voice didn't indicate anything wrong, so why were all of Roman's alarm bells going off in his head? "And I might be going out again. Getting my hair cut." he gestured loosely to his bangs.

"You just cut your hair 2 weeks ago." Roman took a small step forward and watched as Virgil moved back.

"Yeah, I just think I want it shorter. I'm going to a different place so they won't think I'm weird." He sidestepped past Roman to his room. Roman just watched him leave. Something was definitely wrong.

Roman sat outside on his laptop, careful to listen to the sounds of the shower in the background. All of these things added up, he just knew it. Not looking at him, cutting his hair all the time, the fact he could never have enough showers. And, even when Virgil thought he wasn't looking, he saw the trailing red marks up and down his forearms from dragging his nails across the skin. He could tell they all meant one thing. Roman just had to figure out what that one thing was.

He stumbled across a website. Reading through it quickly, he could feel his heart sink in his chest. If he was right, he owed that bastard more than the right hook he got. But he had a few more questions to ask his roommate. And he could already tell this wasn't going to go well.

"Virge, before you go," Roman stopped Virgil just as he grabbed his car keys off the table. He still wasn't looking at him. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah, what's up?" Virgil leaned against the wall and tossed his keys in his hands.

"Do you ever get nightmares? About what happened?" Virgil's head snapped up when he heard the question. "Or even just about people hurting you again? Maybe me?"

"What's going on, Ro?" Virgil crossed his arms and looked at Roman for the first time all day, fear in his eyes.

"Virgil, I think you have one more thing to discuss with your therapist." Roman moved over and gestured to the seat next to him on the couch. Virgil walked over and settled as far away from Roman as he could manage. "I think you might have PTSD."

"What?" Virgil's tone was confusing and unsettled. "You don't know what you're talking about." his hands drifted to his jacket sleeves.

"Virgil, the mood swings. The constant showers. Cutting your hair. You've been having nightmares about what happened, haven't you?"

"It's not like that!" Virgil stood up and held his hands up defensively. "They're not even always the same! Sometimes it's completely different than what he did," Virgil spoke through tears. "Sometimes... sometimes, it's you."

"Virgil," Roman stood up but didn't approach him. "It's okay."

"No! No, it's not! It's not fair!" Virgil gripped his hair and groaned. "PTSD is for war vets and people with real trauma!"

"You have real trauma. Your pain is still valid." Roman took a single step forward and kept his hands up, where Virgil could clearly see them. Virgil looked scared still but Roman kept talking. "I'm not him. It's Roman. You know me."

A look of semi-understanding passed through Virgil's eyes as it slowly sunk it. Roman was his friend. The only one he trusted. He wouldn't hurt him. He stumbled forward into Roman's arms and clutched him close. Roman held him tightly, never wanting to let him go. Both of them came with heavy emotional baggage but together? They could heal. And for the first time in months, Virgil felt something warm and fragile blossom in his heart.
——

Yeah so that was kinda heavy. Hope you still liked it anyway. I realize I have a ton of requests but I wanted to write this for my sake. Hope you guys are doing well. Take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!