dreaming of you // reddie au

six

kaspbrak wanted nothing more other than to leave derry. it was such a small town, with barley anything to do. every day more and more he could feel himself going insane. of course, he didn't want to leave his friends beverly and stanley.. but they all had planned that when they were old enough they'd move somewhere far away and live together. he obviously would miss the nostalgic yet frustrating feeling he felt every time he left the house, but it would be worth it. giving up almost everything and anything to get out of the tiny horror town would be worth it.

ever since beverly's mother died, shes always wanted to flee derry. it felt like she was trapped there, she wasn't even allowed to leave the house unless she snuck out. she loved going to school, because it was a chance to get away for a few hours at a time, even if she got bullied many times. the girl absolutely hated her homelife, she tried everything to distract herself from it. she felt different from everyone else in her classes, they all had surprisingly happy lives outside of school. most of her life, she thought her life style was normal, she thought everyone else experienced the same mental and physical abuse after coming home from a long exhausting day filled with math and brainwashing.. once she started making friends, she realized not everyone knew how hard it was for her. she felt a lot more normal after finding ouy neither of her current friends felt too safe at their own homes either.

stanley always talked joyously about moving to california or new york. there was nothing in particular there, however. he wanted to further his studies about birds. he wanted to make his free time research about the flying creatures a full time job. his parents sternly had to keep reminding him that they'd be dead before he got the chance to raise a pet bird of his own. he had other plans, though. it never really crossed his mother or fathers mind that he'd want to leave derry. its where his jewish church events happened, they felt he enjoyed it, but he was impressively good at hiding his true emotions. some other kids his age liked church and having something to do, having that commitment for life, he did not. it scared him half to death, in fact. he tried his best to convince his family to let him skip a few times, he got some traumatizing responses to that... "its just church, its not that important!" he still remembered that night vividly, yelling for help, trying to hide. he to this day had wished he kept his mouth shut, didn't say anything at all.

eddie didn't have a father, no manly figure to look up to, so instead he looked up to his mother, sonia. there was not much to look up to her for, but he did anyways. she was always shoving medication down his throat, forcing him to the hospital when he knew very fucking well he was okay. but no matter how hard he tried to tell her he was fine, she wouldn't listen. he knew he was being manipulated, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. he had always refused to take toys from the children's toy chest, as it was a stupid concept to him. making kids get shots  and then rewarding them with toys that will break the second they take them home? sometimes he had wished his life was different. it was exhausting constantly having to rush to the ER because of a little hiccup or cough. sonia was just far too concerned about her little eddie bear. which, he gets it, most parents are protective of their kids, or at least they're supposed to be. but his mother took it too far sometimes. he wanted to live his own life, he didnt want to be under her control all the time. it was like sonia only gave birth to eddie to have something in life to worry about. but he had maturely handled it all these years. instead of complaining, he just accepted it. he just kept telling himself that it would be over soon enough, something was bound to happen. he just had a few more years to deal with her bullshit, and then he could leave for good.
afterall, thats one thing that brought the group as close as they are. they all were fucked up in some way.