In the middle of a fight
Adrenaline starts pumping
Worries start growing
My sight disappearing
My mind comes to a halt
As the world starts spinning
I get lost
In thought, spirit, and body
I keep fading in and out of consciousness
My body goes on auto pilot
As I try to cling to the last bit
Of my conscious self then it fades away
It ends in a flash
It is always the same
My heart can't take this
Anxiety starts swelling deep within
Adrenaline numbs my body
And consciousness disappears
Am I just too weak?
Am I enough for this?
I start to question myself
Full of doubts and regrets
I wait for all of it to end
Now, on a bigger stage
Which I never chose to be at
Once again, all these thoughts come to play
It breaks and pains my heart
For all of this to start
I can't
It's impossible
And yet, I need to do it
This atmosphere of expectations
It's immobilized me with it's weight
Just as I thought that I reached the summit
There was another mountain to climb
So I keep climbing higher and higher
But it just goes up so high
I can't see the top anymore
And I get stuck in between
With all these self deluding ambitions I have
Was it all just in vain
It might have been
I just wanted to be with my friends
But I keep getting lost
I can't find the way back
So I become stagnant
Waiting on myself to take the torch
Passed down from generations
I wanted to leave a mark
And to have something to be proud of
But this is just my childish self dreaming
Forever yearning for this impossible goal
I try to clear my mind
With anxiety and fear in the corner
Just smiling, straight into my soul
I get shivers but I have to stand strong
I boast of what I have
As an act for them to not worry
About me who can't help but be sorry
For myself who is useless and forever
Worthless...
