As the sun shined
The classes rolled in
There I was, an "amazing" student
For my parents, a prize, an ornament
Spending years to please my peers
I grew fears
Grew up to change
Into someone out of my range
Someone who's different
Someone, who isn't
Me..
Each day I acted
Smiled fake for years
Under this mask
Was a bottle full of tears
Scared of being judged
It took over me with these fears
I couldn't ever speak my mind
For he was in control
In this daily grind
No one I could talk to
Not one could I see
It fully took over
And became a loveable
Me...
But this was not me
This was an act
That cannot be undone
For them it was fun
But for me I was none
All signs of me gone
Is it really me in this body
This reputation I carry
"Smart,responsible,strong, and funny"
This is what others know
But inside I wait
For the chance I see
Another person like me
waiting...
To be free
This facade kept going
Achieving and pushing
The ideal me was this facade
But it wasn't what I wanted
This was to please my peers
Each year growing
Eyes blurring
Air was tightening
Expectations are rising
My mind kept sinking
I was suffocating
I died...
There wasn't any part of me left
It gained control over my life
My mind was blank
Not noticing time
Years have gone by
And in a moment of a mistake
My facade faltered
And I broke free
Just for a little bit
I went down a level
Saw different people
For the first time
Though short it was sublime
A time full of laughter
Full of people like me
There I was actually happy
No medals or awards
Just fun and some friends
My time there was short
Because now I have to go back
Back to the top
So I put on my facade
This time I was in control
Of the facade who took my role
Back on the top
Was a girl who reached out
Through my darkest time she saw me
She saw and spoke to the real me
So I need to get back
Back to the highest
I have to try my hardest
For her I would not stop
So I kept climbing and climbing
Spending days with no sleep
To see her once more
I took the final leap...
Here I was to meet my former "friends"
It was the first time I fully saw their faces
For me to finally see
Other people with different cases
We all went through thick and thin
Having a blast with the class
I went in here with a mask
But she broke it and told me "could I ask?"
"No more lies, don't just talk with your eyes"
"I understand, so don't continue hurting.. yourself"
She embraced my dormant self
Her warm gentle words struck me deeply
The me who died and had to bide
With her rekindling the flame
She brought me back to life
Giving me a reason to not be a knife
To always be nice
For we kept a promise as kids
I'll never break it like he did..
This was a kind of story
More of a history
To be frank, it is a summary
Of the life I had planned for me
And now a new chapter before me..
