Symphony

42

I fiddled with my sleeves as i sat on the sofa uncomfortably waiting for asher to bring me a cup of coffee, Although i didnt want one.

He had offered and i just didnt know how to say no, I didn't know how to say anything.

He came back in, two mugs in hand placing them on the table, i gave him a silent nod to thank him as he sat down.

I kept my eyes on my hands unsure of what to do,

"I've had so much planned to say but now i can't find the words" he speaks up breaking the silence

"Why?" I find myself asking surprising us both

"W-well i-i um" he seems at a loss for words "it started off harmless"

I roll my eyes putting the cup back on the table

"Look there is a straight answer to this so just tell me" I demanded

He stayed silent looking at me wide eyed before he opened his mouth and spoke

"Fun, i did it for fun"

I scoff, how dumb

"Fun is going to a theme park, fun is spending time with your friends breaking someone's heart isnt fun" i snap at him my nerves replaced by anger

"You lied about your parents being dead asher, thats fucking disgusting" my words are harsh with every syllable and i think i see him flinch by them but it doesn't stop me

"You made me move in with you to a house that literally meant nothing to you when you acted as if it was everything, you acting as if I was everything when in reality i was nothing but a game to you!"

Im standing now my hands moving with my words

"You wasn't! You aren't" he exclaims jumping up centimetres away from me "nothing i told you was a lie! Everything was true i just changed a few things"

"Pfft so that makes it any better?" i scoff

"No of course not" his voice is small again

"My mom died when i was 10, i found this place when i was grieving i spent everyday here. My dad didn't care, he was never home he still never is he might as well be dead" he begins to explain his lies "nothing i told you was ever a lie"

His eyes meet mine with great intensity

"You said i could trust you, you lied" and once again i was nervous the ache in my chest growing and the lump in my throat almost unbearable.

"I know pumpkin" he moves to comfort me and i raise my hand stopping his actions

"Don't" i can barely hear my words "i wont be able to do the right thing if you hug me"

"This is the right thing" he takes ahold of my face in his hands i close my eyes shaking my head in reply

"No" i cry tears slipping down my cheeks landing on his hands

"I love you annie" i want to push him away from me but i cant find the power

"I always have" he presses but I continue denying him shaking my head

"No"

"Yes, annie stop fighting me" he pleads

"I love you" he repeats and thats all i can take i grow limp and fall into his arms, Giving in to the ache in my chest, letting the dumb naive little girl in me win.

His arms immediately encase me,
Rubbing my back up and down, planting kisses on my head and whispering promises in my ear.

But was this it or just a temporary fix?

All that's happened is i've fallen back into his game.

{too soon for forgiveness??}