Symphony

45

I stared out the window watching as asher filled the car with gas, his muscles had gotten larger since i had last seen him evident that johnnys information about asher spending most his days blowing off steam in the gym were indeed true.

There was a unspoken truce between us in this moment and that would be to not talk of yesterday,

Nothing was wrong with it, it was actually pretty darn amazing not how I imagined but amazing at that but thats not the point here, the point is that nothing changed.

Even as he whispered promises to me holding me against his bare chest last night, nothing in me had changed because in reality he still had betrayed my trust and every lie he told overpowers the good.

Of course i still love him and as i watch as he glances over at me while paying inside the small shop sending me a soft smile,i realise that i was dammed to always love him.

As he approached back to the car bags of junk food in hand I decided we would find a way to fix this one day for asher angel was my symphony.
++
We pull up outside the 'hotel' at about six, it more like a motel not far from the highway we had just got of.

I climb out the car soon followed by asher

"He's in room 26" i tell him and begin to walk towards the room.

I knock on the door and after a few minutes a red eyed hayden opened it I immediately step inside embracing him in a tight hug as he sobbed into my shoulder.

"Im here now" i mumble, I don't hold him for too long fully aware of ashers presence behind us, i pull away and hayden notices asher raising a eyebrow at me

"I'll fill you in soon" i whisper he nods and allows us both inside

The room is small, a double bed in the middle of the room, two bedside tables besides it and a small tv screen mounted on the wall, i also notice a closed door assuming its a bathroom.

"Asher, can you go get us two rooms?" I ask digging around in my purse and handing him $30 he takes it and nods leaving the room.

I sit on the bed dragging my hands down my face

"Any news?" I ask

"No" his voice is hoarse evident that he had spent hours crying

"Come here" i say opening my arms and he sits besides me allowing me to comfort him

"When did our lives get so messy?" I ask slightly jokingly

"Ha i think we were dammed from the start" he scoffs a small laugh leaving his lips

We stay in silence for a few minutes and it's peaceful

"So you spoke to him i see" he brings up the elephant in the room

"I did" i clarify

"It went good i assume?" He questions i huff falling back on the bed hayden soon joining me laying back "i'll take that as a no"

"Its not that it went bad i just don't know how to trust him anymore, its just not the same and im scared that it never will be" i confess "but it doesn't matter about me im here for you" i need to get my priorities straight and remember why i am here, its for hayden not for some stupid boy,

You're in love with said stupid boy my subconscious reminds me and i want to slap her.

"I don't want to talk about just me, im here for you as much as you are for me. Vent" he practically demands

"Weslepttogether" i blurt out my words coming out in one jumbled mess but he hears me shooting up from his laying position

"What!?" He exclaims i groan sitting up

"Yeah" i mumble

"Well how was it?" I surprisingly feel Comfortable talking to hayden about my relationship he is my best friend even after everything.

"Perfect....it was perfect but its just really awkward, something changed in us now and it isnt as easy as it was before its like we've crossed this invisible barrier but one of us is stuck on the other side" i tell him everything "i also broke up with him officially"

He gasps at this new information "before or after?" He asks and I shake my head in disappointment of myself

"Before it happened" i say "i've messed up haven't i?"

He looks at me sympathetically
"You want my honest opinion" he asks but it isnt really a question he's gonna give me it anyway so i just nod in reply

"You simply can't lead him on, you broke up with him them you instantly took those words back with an action. Bringing him here perhaps not the best idea, you need to figure out what you want before making decisions like that and dragging him around with you. He loves you and would do anything for you that's obvious, but you can't lead him on and he can't be waiting forever"

He's right as usual but its easier not facing the facts, i want to be with him i do but a small part of me doesn't and thats what makes this so hard.

{what do you think she is going to do?}