Under the Bad Boy's Spell

Confessions

I was sitting in front of the big screen TV with a big, wooly blanket draped around my shoulders and I wore one of Caspian's oversized shirts and sweatpants.
"Hot chocolate?" He asked, "I know it is your favourite."
He held out one of two cups filled with steaming hot chocolate. It was his way to make amends. I took the cup and held it with both hands. I inhaled the delicious scent of the creamy liquid. I felt Caspian falling onto the couch next to me and my heart started to beat faster at the proximity between us. On the one hand, it seemed completely normal and I wanted it to stay that way, but one the other hand, it was uncomfortable. He grabbed the remote and pressed play. We were watching one of our all time favourite movies: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
I laid my head on his lap while we watched the scene of Mr Darcy's first proposal to Elizabeth. A shiver ran down my spine when I felt him play with my hair, tugging at my stubborn curls. I closed my eyes and allowed the sensation to fill every inch of my body and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

**********

I woke up the next morning in Caspian's bed. I sat bolt upright in his bed and scanned the room. He was nowhere to be seen and that relieved me. I got out of his bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen as the mouth-watering aroma of bacon and eggs filled my nostrils.
"Good morning." He turned around when I sat down on one of the chairs, "I called your mother last night and told her that you were spending the night."
"Since when are you so nice to me? You were a complete jerk to me since now. What changed?" I asked incredulously. It was a question that I wanted to conceal, at least for another month, but somehow it managed to escape my lips.
"We changed." He said in barely a whisper.
There was a long silence where he broke an egg into the pan. The sizzling of the bacon and continuous scraping of the spatula against the bottom of the pan were the only noises that lifted the silence.
"What do you mean?" I asked eventually as the butterflies, that have been still for so long, slowly started to elope. I was the one who couldn't bare the tension and uncertainty anymore.
Caspian turned off the oven. He turned around to face me and in his features there were a lot of unexplained emotions.
"I still like you, Becca. I like you a lot. I never meant to hurt you. I was going through a lot at that time, because of my mother's passing." He pulled his gaze away from me. I could see the hurt from talking about his mother.
I was relieved that he wasn't looking at me anymore, because his desperate gaze started to burn my skin.
"I knew what you were going through, Caspian. Why did you push me away? Why did you hurt me the way you did?" My temper rose at his sudden confession, because he should've told me this the moment all those unfortunate happenings occurred. It wasn't easy for him and it wasn't easy for me either.
"It meant nothing, I swear. If I could go back in time and fix that moment, I would do it in a heartbeat." He dropped everything he was busy with and turned back around.
"Oh, so it just happened that you kissed Meghan after the soccer match I couldn't attend, because I was sick, and had sex with her afterwards? I had to hear it from other girls. Wait, let me correct that... Overhear it!"
"I told you it wasn't how I wanted things to go. I wished it was different." His tone started to rise at my angry words. He occupied himself by dishing up some bacon.
"What did you expect would happen?" I asked and rose from my seat. I placed my hands on the cool surface of the kitchen table and clenched my fists.
"I- Nevermind. You wouldn't understand." He stated coldy. "You will never understand."
"I do understand! MY FATHER IS DEAD!"
I clasped my hands over my mouth in shock. I didn't mean for my deepest, darkest secret to reveal itself, but my anger got the best of me and I couldn't hold my tongue. He froze, but didn't say a single word nor did he look at me. I took that opportunity to explain.
"I do understand, okay? Every time someone mentions their name, your plastered heart tears open and bleeds out. It is every single word that reminds you of them, and the dreams... The nightmares... You blame yourself, because you couldn't save them. You can't help but wonder if you should've died instead of them and it's a deep thought and-"
My words got cut off when Caspian's muscular arms folded around my shoulders and pulled me closer to his chest. He soothed back my hair and gently rocked me in his arms.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked softly. His voice was calm and sincere.
"I didn't want everyone's pity." I replied in a firm and steady tone.
I pulled my head away from his chest and looked up into his oceanic blue eyes. My eyes roamed his face and observed every perfect feature. They rested a little while longer on his soft, pink lips. He must have noticed, because I wasn't expecting what had happened next.
He snaked his arms around my waist and pressed those perfect lips against mine. He adjusted his lips gently as if I was a delicate flower he was afraid to break. I didn't respond to the kiss for the first few seconds, but his kiss was addictive. I cupped his face in my hands and deepend the kiss.
He pulled away from my lips and rested his forehead against mine as he held my cheek.