Under the Bad Boy's Spell

Back To My Old Ways

The first place I knew I could go to without being judged, was the graveyard. I needed my father. I sped towards the graveyard and fell to my knees in front of my father's grave, sobbing into my hands.
"I'm such a fool, dad." I sobbed. "I am so hurt, dad, so hurt." I looked up into the heavens. "I wish you were here with me. I could really use one of your hugs and your advice. I am so alone, dad. No one understands, and the one that did, turned out to be nothing more than a jerk."
I sat staring at my father's grave, reading the message on his gravestone. I ran my fingers over it; it gave me comfort. It was the closest I would ever come to touching him again.
"I am so sorry I couldn't save you from the car crash, dad. If I could only reach your hand in time and pull you to safety before the car exploded, then none of this would've happened. You would still be alive and we would be one big, happy family." I sighed and dried off my tears with my sleeve.
"I don't know what else to do. I've tried everything, but it all ends up hurting me. I really wish I could hug you." A sad smile crawled onto my face and I stood up from the dirt and dusted off my jeans.
"Thanks for the talk, dad." Then I did what I always do when I visited him. I placed my fingers against my lips and pressed them against the gravestone.
I drove home with a much lighter weight on my shoulders. I had a firm grip on the steering wheel. I felt badly shaken by what happened. I was surprised to see that my mom was home early.
"Mom, why are you home so early?" I asked curiously.
"Caspian called. He told me what happened. He asked that I should keep a close eye on you." She replied.
"He needn't worry about me. He has Meghan he should worry about." I replied harshly. "What's for dinner?" I asked to purposely change the subject.
"I thought about getting take-away. I am exhausted. My client doesn't listen to a word I say and I fear that the jury might take it as an advantage. The judges aren't friendly. They will destroy him any chance they get." She wiped her face.
"Shall I order us some pizza then?" I asked and fished my phone out of my pocket. My mom nodded in agreement and I ordered us some pizza.
After we ate, my mom went to bed, but I stayed up and read a book. It was the most effective way to keep my thoughts from wandering. I fell into one of my inescapable nightmares. I tossed and turned restlessly, until my mom managed to wake me up.
"Becca, oh sweetheart. Are you okay?" My mom asked concerned.
"I'm fine, mom. It's just a nightmare." I reassured her. She placed a kiss on my forehead and exited my room.
At school, everything was back to normal. Like nothing happened, and it didn't surprise me in the least. I knew Caspian would change back into the cold-hearted jackass he was. It didn't bother me. I had my walls built up high again and promised myself that no one would break them down again. Not even a handsome figure like Caspian.
I had French first and deep down in my gut, I didn't look forward to it at all. It was just a few more weeks, I reminded myself. I entered the class with confidence and walked to my usual seat.
Mr O'Donald started the lesson with a little peek into the French History which was rather interesting. Caspian never showed for class, which relieved me. It would take me a while to get use to seeing him again without bursting into tears.
I met Terry and Lisa at lunch and there seemed to be a dark cloud hanging over the two of them. I raised my brows when neither of them said a word. They didn't make eye-contact with me. "What is going on?" I asked, not able to hold back my curiosity.
"Lisa is mad at me." Terry casually broke the ice.
"Why?" I asked and my eyes swerved in Lisa's directed.
"We had an argument in Astronomy. She thinks I am hiding something from her, because I snapped when she grabbed my phone as a joke." Terry admitted guiltily.
"Are you hiding something from her?" I asked coldly. Terry might be a good friend to me, but Lisa was my best friend since Grace left for Europe. If Terry had done anything to hurt her, I wouldn't hesitate to confront him about it. I didn't want anyone going through what I did.
"No, I swear. I love you, Lisa, and I would never hide anything from you." Terry placed his hand on Lisa's shoulder. She turned around and unfolded her arms.
"Promise me?" She asked with uncertainty in her voice. I smiled at them when Terry nodded and Lisa pulled his face closer and kissed him.
A searing stab pain gnawed at my heart. It made me remember every time Caspian and I would kiss like that, only more passionately. The kiss was filled with love from both sides. Why am I even thinking about him?
"There is a party Friday night at Landile's house. You should come along, Becca." Lisa suggested.
"No thanks, Lisa. I have loads of homework to catch up and I really need to start studying for exams." I didn't feel like going to a party with a bunch of drunken, hormonal teenagers. I think I was more afraid that I'd walk into Caspian.
"You study too much." Terry whined when he took a bite from his apple. "You should get out more. You can't just lock yourself in your room and 'study' until things get better."
Terry always had a way of cheering me up. It amazed me that he could see straight through me; my fake appearance.
"I am not in the mood for people, Terry." I gave him a week smile and I knew he understood.
"Well, then you can help me picking my outfit, Becca." Lisa smiled. I knew she was only trying to be friendly.
"I'd love to." I accepted her offer.