*slow updates*
"And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."
--
Billie dreaded moving to Forks, Washington. It was gloomy, it was depressing. But it turned out to be the best decision of her life.
--
Based off of Stephanie Me...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
⌈
The next day was better.... and worse.
Better because the rain hadn't arrived yet, though the clouds were dense and opaque.
It was easier because I knew what to expect.
Mike sat next to me in English, then walked with me to my next class, all while "Chess Club Eric" was glaring at him; that was flattering.
People weren't staring at me as much as they did yesterday, to my relief.
At lunch, I sat with a big group that included, Jessica, Angela, Mike, Eric and many others whose names and faces, I now remember.
I began to feel like I was treading water, rather than drowning in it.
Today was worse because I was tired; the wind echoing around my house continued to interrupt my deep sleep at midnight.
It was worse because Mr. Varner called on me in Trig when my hand wasn't raised and I had the wrong answer.
It was miserable because I had to play volleyball and the one time I didn't cringe out of the way of the ball, I hit Coach Clapp in the head.
And it was worse because Grayson Dolan wasn't at school at all.
I was dreading lunch all morning, fearing his bizarre glares.
Part of me wanted to confront him and demand to know what his problem was.
While I was in the shower or while I was lying sleeplessly on the bed, I even imagined what I would say. But I knew myself too well to think I would really have the guts to do it. I made the Cowardly Lion look like the terminator.
But when I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica- trying to keep my eyes from scanning the place for him, and failing entirely- I saw his four siblings of sorts were sitting together at the same table, and he was not with them.
Mike pushed intercepted us and guided us to his table. Jessica seemed exhilarated by the attention, and her friends quickly accompanied by her.
I tried to listen to their easy chatter, but I was too uncomfortable, waiting nervously for the moment he would arrive.
I hoped that he would simply ignore me when he came, and prove my suspicions wrong.
--
He didn't come, and as time passed I grew more and more tense.
I walked to biology with more confidence, finding that he never arrived at lunch.
Mike, who was taking on the qualities of a golden retriever, walked cheerfully by my side to class.
I held my breath as we walked through the door, slowly relaxing as Grayson Dolan wasn't at the table.
Mike followed as I walked to my seat, talking about an upcoming beach trip.
He lingered by my desk till the bell rang. Then he smiled at me wistfully and went to sit by a girl with braces and a bad perm.
It looked like I had to do something with Mike, and it wouldn't be easy.
Diplomacy was essential in a town like this, where everyone lived on top of everyone else.
I had never been enormously tactical or strategic; I had no practice with overly friendly boys.
I was relieved I had the desk to myself, that Grayson was absent. I told myself that regularly.
But I couldn't get rid of the nagging suspicion that I was the reason he wasn't here.
It was ridiculous, and egotistical, to think that I could affect anyone that strongly.
It was impossible. Yet I couldn't stop worrying that it was true.
---------
a/n; go drink a glass of water and be kind to everyone :)
