incarcerated

9.

sadly, brett and eddy's late night talk did not make either of them feel any better. the closeness in those moments put both of them in a strange state of missing each other yet being afraid to attempt any contact. all of brett's anger and resentment for eddy had faded after his explanation of his actions. the smaller man wished every day that he could go back into that office and crawl under that blanket and talk to the warden for hours. they liked talking to each other whether they'd admit it or not.

    the next morning, everyone in brett's unit seemed way more talkative than usual. not to him, of course, but to each other. he caught word of a situation the previous night and someone said that the warden was furious. he knew about the fight, but he hadn't known some of the other details.

details, such as the fact that the two men eddy had been apprehending had literally tried to fight him. brett heard an inmate say that the two of them were in bad shape after attempting to resist eddy's authority.

it would've been funny if he hadn't heard that eddy wasn't in the best shape either. his nose had been broken by the initial blow and he'd been completely caught off guard. the news of such an injury made brett sad. he wanted to march into eddy's office and find out what exactly happened, but he had a feeling that, first of all, eddy wouldn't be in the mood for visitors, and, second of all, there was nothing brett could do anyways. the most he could offer to the warden was emotional support.

emotional support was valuable in prison, but it was quite taboo when it was between an inmate and the warden and it put one of them in serious danger. brett thought about it the entire time he was heading to the library.

    his day at work was slow, as usual. reading was not something that most of the other inmates really prioritized. but brett loved it. he spent his whole day with his nose stuck in a book. it was a good distraction from worrying about eddy and being sad that there was nothing could do to help.

only ten minutes before brett's workday ended, the library door slammed open. brett frowned and looked up to see an angry looking eddy approaching him. the space around his nose was only speckles of blue and purple, spreading up to around his eyes. he walked to the front of the counter brett was sitting at and smacked his hands on the table.

    "i know who hurt you," he said lowly. brett shifted uncomfortably in his chair and scooted away slightly.

    "okay?" he scoffed, attempting to act unbothered. he wasn't sure if he was angry or afraid. he was just glad that they were alone in the room.

    "i have to do something, brett. i can't let this go. it's not just because of our... whatever this is."

    "yeah, what is this? why did you come to tell me?"

"i thought you should know," eddy replied, squinting in brett's direction. he didn't understand why brett was so hateful towards him when they'd been practically holding hands that morning. but he guessed that the hot and cold was something they both dealt with. at any given moment, one of them was bound to be standoffish to the other. it was how they worked.

"thanks," brett muttered. eddy pursed his lips.

"what's wrong with you?" the taller man asked. brett shrugged and resumed reading his book.

"you know," eddy sighed, "you're not supposed to be so disrespectful to me."

brett scoffed and sat his book down on the table forcefully.

"what are you gonna do about it?"

eddy was not used to being challenged like that, and he hated it. he didn't understand why brett was so hateful towards him when they'd been practically holding hands that morning. he guessed that the hot and cold was something they both dealt with, but it was getting old quickly. his ego was already bruised from the previous night and he was getting angry. brett was making a mistake.

"you're living a cushioned life in this fucking prison, yang. but i really don't want you to forget where you are and how little power you actually have, especially against me. you can't talk to me the way you do and expect to get away with it every time."

"is that a threat?" brett spat. he was petrified, but tried his hardest to hide his fear of the taller man. weakness was not an option.

"it's a warning."

the two of them looked into each other's eyes for a long time then. eddy's chest was heaving and his fists remained clenched by his sides for the entirety of the rage fueled staring match.

it wasn't anger for each other that was causing their arguments. it was the exact opposite. the two of them were just so confused by their strange relationship and furious that they couldn't do anything to pursue it in the way they wanted to. touching eddy's hand had been the highlight of brett's terrible time in prison and all he wanted was to grab onto it again and not let go. yes, he liked eddy, but exclusively making that known would make things worse. there were slip ups that increased the obviousness of brett's infatuation with the warden, but he was trying his hardest to avoid them.

and, obviously, brett wasn't the only one with deeper feelings here. eddy hadn't intended to be interested in the smaller man, but he'd been so intrigued by him the day he stepped into his office. brett's smallness and obvious nerves had been funny to eddy that day. but it was after the taller man found out why brett was forced to set foot in that place that the empathy and infatuation began.

long story short, it was a mess. neither of them could quite find the balance of friendliness and standoffish behavior and it only made things worse. they thought about it as their eyes locked for that long, uncomfortable period of time, a thick silence filling the stale air.

"fine," brett said finally, "i'm sorry. sir."

eddy had expected to feel triumphant, but he did not. instead, he felt guilty and almost sad. he cleared his throat and turned around, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.