incarcerated

20.

    after brett had left eddy's office and padded back down the hallway with tears in his dark eyes, the warden had torn his office apart.

    it had been gradual at first. eddy paced around, chest heaving, pushing a paper off his desk periodically. after he ran out of those, he kicked a book around in the floor for a little bit. but it wasn't enough. he was just too angry.

    eddy had grabbed everything in his sight and thrown it into the floor, biting his lip to keep from shouting things that would take away the little chance he had of not being fired. he tossed things around until he exhausted himself, sitting down in the floor on top of a pile of crumpled paperwork.

    what was he going to do? the talk that he and brett had had before the inmate left his office had been everything but reassuring. to think that it may have been the last time eddy got to hold brett in his arms devastated him.

    the warden laid down on the floor of his office, clutching the blanket that brett always used in his shaky hands. tears flowed down his tired face and he put his hand over his mouth to keep quiet. he had to do something.

    but what?
—
    brett was crying, too. he hid under his blanket in his bunk and tried to keep still, biting down hard on his thumb. all he wanted was to make his way back down to eddy's office. the ache in his chest was nearly unbearable and he wanted eddy to calm him down and tell him everything would be okay.

    he cried until he fell asleep.
—
    i wish i could tell you that the next day was better.

    but it was somehow worse. brett and eddy both woke up with the assumption that they wouldn't be seeing each other that day, and it hurt both of them.

    eddy had gone home the previous night and stared at the wall for hours, trying to think of a way to fix things. brett had less than two months left. waiting out his sentence wasnt going to take too long, but it was going to be painful. going two months without kissing him, without touching him, sounded unbearable now that he'd had a taste of what he really wanted.

    he didn't know what to do.

    when the warden walked into the prison that day, something felt off. maybe it was because of brett, or the conversation he'd had yesterday, but something was wrong.

eddy walked into his office and saw a piece of paper on his desk he'd never seen before, and he was immediately wary of its possible contents. what could it be?

hands trembling, eddy picked up the paper and skimmed over it quickly. he dropped it onto the floor as soon as his brain processed what it said.

brett was being transferred. they said it was for his safety, which made sense, but eddy couldn't believe it nor could he deal with it. he stumbled backwards and sat down on his couch, remembering the times he and brett had had on it. biting his lip, eddy held back tears.

    after composing himself, eddy stood up and told a CO via radio that brett was needed in his office. sitting down in his chair, he held the paper in his hands and read it over and over, hoping that the words on the paper would somehow change and tell him that brett was getting out early.

    the knock on the door startled him even though he knew it was coming. he sat the paper down and cleared his throat.

    "come in."

    brett shyly walked into eddy's office, looking like he'd never seen the warden in his life. his usual excitement to see eddy had faded and he just stood close to the door, avoiding eye contact.

    "you can sit down," eddy mumbled. the way brett was acting didn't surprise him, but it still hurt to see him being so distant.

    shaking, brett sat down in the chair across from eddy and stared at his desk, eyes fixated on the dark wood. he knew that he'd burst into tears if their eyes connected.

    "bretty," eddy said softly, chewing his bottom lip. "can you look at me?"

    the lump in brett's throat seemed to double in size. his chest ached as he shook his head.

    "why am i in here?" he asked, cheeks reddening as his voice cracked mid-sentence. eddy sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

    "you're being transferred to another prison for the rest of your sentence. i'm sorry, brett. it wasn't my decision."

    brett didn't move, but the tears that had been welling in his eyes finally slipped down his rosy cheeks, falling onto his lap as he stared down at it. he clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, trying to stop his breathing from getting faster.

    "why?" he whimpered, cheeks burning. eddy sighed once more.

    "for your safety. it seems that i've done a poor job protecting you, so they're moving you somewhere someone else can. i'm so sorry," he answered, voice nearly void of emotion despite the fact that he was near tears himself.

    "oh," brett said. a thick silence filled the cluttered room, enveloping both of them in its eeriness. brett continued to cry, not caring enough to wipe his cheeks and letting the tears run down his face.

    after awhile in that painstaking silence, eddy stood up and walked over to brett. neither of them uttered a word as eddy picked brett up out of the chair and moved to the couch, pulling him onto his lap. the warden wrapped his long arms around his prisoner's shaking frame, gently kissing the side of his head. brett relaxed into eddy's touch, his head resting on the other boy's shoulder.

    "i think i'm gonna quit, brett. i said i would and i couldn't think of the right time but they're taking you away from me and i can't stand it. i can come visit you," eddy said into brett's ear, rubbing his back gently. brett raised his head.

    "really?" he asked, looking into eddy's dark eyes. the taller boy nodded and closed the gaps between their lips, kissing brett softly and sweetly.

    "it might raise some eyebrows, but it won't matter if i don't work here anymore," he shrugged. brett sniffled and wrapped his arms tight around eddy's torso, squeezing his eyes shut.

"what are you gonna do about money? you—"

"i'll figure it out. don't worry."

brett nodded silently and sighed, closing his eyes once more and planting a soft kiss on eddy's neck. he sat there in the warden's arms for quite awhile, feeling safe for the first time since he'd set foot in the door.