incarcerated

14.

none of them processed what was going on as it was happening. as soon as their lips collided, it seemed as if everything in the room and in the universe dissolved. there was no prison. there was nothing wrong with what they were doing. the fact that someone could knock on eddy's office door at any moment did not matter.

the warden wrapped his arms around brett's waist and slowly moved his hands under the smaller boy's shirt, their mouths molding together and bringing them closer. eddy's lips were warm and soft as he guided brett through the kiss, short nails scratching his back gently. brett was in a daze as he hugged the taller boy's neck and grabbed gently at random tufts of his soft hair. time seemed to stand still in that small room on that warm afternoon as the two fell farther into the abyss that was their feelings for each other.

    it did not take long for the kiss to escalate. starved for affection, both boys grabbed tightly at each other's hair and clothing, their hearts banging against their ribcages and creating a strange duet between their loud pulses. eddy's tongue darted out to touch brett's lips and the smaller boy gasped. he had not been expecting that, but he gladly opened his mouth to let eddy in. their tongues found each other and brett leaned further into the kiss as eddy sucked on his, the two of them moving impossibly closer.

    they found themselves in a strange, tense silence after the smaller boy finally broke the kiss off, leaning back suddenly. the weight of the situation had finally hit him and he felt extremely overwhelmed, his head no longer spinning in a good way. eddy frowned slightly at the clear distress in the other man's eyes and increased the distance between them.

    "i'm so sorry," the warden mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

    "we can't do this now," brett replied. eddy squinted at him.

     "what?"

    "i said we can't do this now, sir. you'll go to jail. i only have five months left. i can't get more time. and i can't get murdered before i finish the time i've been given," brett shook his head fervently, pacing around the room. it was clear that he was panicking.

    "no one is getting more time and you aren't going to get murdered, brett," the warden said in an attempt to comfort the smaller boy. brett shook his head.

    "i need to go to work. it's late. i'm late for work. i have to go. i haven't been to work in days. you're a great kisser, sir. god. i have to go," he muttered to himself, his hand landing on the doorknob. eddy grabbed his arm gently.

    "i promise everything is going to be okay," he said softly. brett yanked his arm away and immediately cringed at what he'd done.

    "uh, sorry.. sir. i just.. i don't know. you should probably go home tonight. when's the last time you left this place?" brett asked, concern clear on his gorgeous face. eddy winced.

    "it's been a few days, i'll say that."

    "go home. go home and take a shower and sleep in your own bed. this job is taking your youth and wearing you the fuck out. start taking care of yourself so you're alive when i get out and we can do something about whatever the hell this is. i'll try and come to see you again relatively soon, okay? but, please, put me out of your mind for now. there's nothing you can do to help me right now and this isn't making it better. you could at least help yourself," brett went on, gesturing dramatically as he spoke. eddy just stared at him in awe of his beauty and the accuracy of his statements. he was absolutely right.

    "okay, brett," the warden nodded. brett squinted at him.

    "promise me, sir. you have to promise that you'll go home when you're supposed to, get a good night's sleep, and take time for yourself. i'm worried about you."

    the confession of concern warmed eddy's damaged heart and he smiled, scratching the back of his neck.

    "i promise, brett."

    the smaller boy nodded and let out a sigh.

    "can i kiss you again, sir?" he asked. eddy laughed.

    "yes."

    and they did. it was somehow even better than the first time, their entire bodies pressing together and their mouths moving as if they were one. eddy picked brett up and sat him on his messy desk, papers scattering onto the floor. but he didn't care. all he cared about was that his tongue ran across the inside of brett's mouth enough for his satisfaction and his grip on the smaller boy's waist wasn't too tight.

    the second time they had to pull away from each other hurt. they knew that they were going to have to go back to their normal lives and pretend like they hadn't just shared such an intense moment. no one could know. but the danger of their relationship made them want each other even more and eddy couldn't resist planting one more soft kiss on his swollen lips.

    "alright," brett whispered. "i've got to go."

    "i know," eddy sighed. brett leaned in and kissed his cheek.

    "i'll see you soon, sir. don't forget that promise."

    "i won't."

    brett turned around and walked out of eddy's office.

;

eddy did go home that night. he left the prison around 9 p.m. after finishing the incident report and some other obligatory paperwork. as he drove home, brett was the only thing on his mind. everything in him ached to return to the prison and hope brett came to his office that night. but he couldn't.

it wasn't that the warden didn't like being home or that his home wasn't suitable. his house was fairly nice—two stories, plenty of space, everything a single man needed. but, god, it was lonely. he was lonely. being by himself in the strange darkness of his home magnified his feelings of despair. he needed something or someone to fill that void.

in a perfect world, that something or someone would be brett. but this world was not perfect at all. the circumstances under which the two had met made it practically impossible for them to get together or stay together.

eddy got into the shower as soon as he got home, closing his eyes and letting the warm water cover his aching body. brett was right. he needed it. staying at the prison all the time was terrible for both his physical and mental health. even though he was the opposite of an inmate, sometimes he felt like one. he was there nearly as much as the people who lived there were. but, they were there for punishment and he was there for a job, so it wasn't fair that he was suffering the wrath of that place just as they were.

his shower lasted much longer than he'd expected. midnight passed before he finally climbed out and put on clothes that weren't work clothes for once, relishing the strange feeling. he hadn't been lying to brett when he said it had been days since he'd been home.

sighing heavily, eddy climbed into his soft bed and covered his entire body with blankets. he wished for brett's presence in the lonely house and shook his head at his own thoughts. what had he let himself get into?

the warden was unable to get brett off of his mind before he fell asleep, dreaming of the small boy in orange.