Michaelishious - Vol. 2019

Dec. 3rd: St. Peter

"St. Peter is sick."

"What?"

"St. Peter is sick! Tell the others!"

"But who's gonna do his job?"

"Who's job?"

"St. Peter's! He's sick!"

The rumor spread amongst the angels like a fire in dry grass, and they were getting worried both about St. Peter and what would happen without him.

"Is there anybody who can take his place?"

"The pope, maybe?"

"But he's not dead yet."

"Oh, darn. Maybe we should..."

"Don't even think about it!"

"Maybe we could use the old one?"

Both angels looked over at Benedictus Decimus Sextus, then at each other and shook their heads.

"I think Joseph's done enough."

"Joseph? I thought his name was Benedict?"

The first angel shook his head.

"No. His real name is Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger, and if you think about his opinions about birth control and homosexuality, he's gonna send most of them to... To..."

"Oh, just say Hell! They're going to Hell."

"Shhh! People can hear you!"

"People? I only see angels. And we need to pick one of them to serve in St. Peter's place until he gets back."

"Yeah, you're right. What about him?"

"Who?"

The second angel pointed at a smiling man who was busy entertaining a bunch of kids, and playing catch with them.

"Who's that?"

"They call him Applehead."

"What? What kind of name is that? That has to be a nickname."

"I don't know. Let's call him over."

And moments later, a beautiful angel with long, black curls stood before them. He was still smiling, with all his bright white and perfectly set teeth at display. And his eyes sparkled with joy after running around with the children.

"What's your name?"

"Michael Jackson," he answered politely, a bit nervous that he'd done something wrong. But the angels looked at each other and smiled.

"Told you," one of them said and smirked in self-satisfaction. But the other angel ignored him, and reached out his hand to shake Michael's.

"Nice to meet you, Michael. Are you one of the archangels? I thought you were more... Blonde. And older."

"No, I'm not," Michael giggled.
"But I've met the guy you're thinking of, though. He's a nice, old angel."

Both of the angels nodded in agreement, and the other angel shook Michael's hand too.

"I'm Gabriel and this is Remiel, and we're trying to find someone to do St. Peter's job while he's sick."

"Oh, no! He is? Is it bad?"

"We don't know yet. But do you think you can manage to pick out the good people from the evil ones and send them to... To..."

"To Hell!" Remiel finished loudly, and Gabriel immediately shushed him, blushing like a red light bulb.