Forbidden Love

Chapter 5 ~ Rose

"Scarlett!" I felt myself being pulled abruptly from my thoughts. I fell. But not on the side I yearned to. I fell backwards and landed on a firm body. I felt hard breathing. "What the fuck do you think you were doing?" I winced, Kellin was red faced holding his chest. The tears unconsciously started rolling once again. Kellin held me tightly.
"I can't do this anymore..." I whispered.
"Don't you ever say that!" his voice was loud and sharp, he almost hissed it. My body was so stiff, I hadn't realised that my hands were gripping him, so tightly that my knuckle bones looked to be tearing out through my skin. What could I say? He wouldn't understand. Earlier he was telling me that we wouldn't work... The forlorn thought of it returned. "Sshhh" he uttered as he wiped away my tears with his sleeve. I loved being in his arms. This is where I wanted to stay right now; I wish he knew that.

"Why wouldn't it work?" I stared into his bloodshot eyes.
"Please don't tell me this is what this whole thing is about Scarlett...Please."
"No! It's everything! My mother, my father just everything ..."
"Your father loves you."
"How would you know?"
"All fathers love their daughters, even if they might not show it..." his voice became dampened.
"Rose..."
"Who's Rose?" He hesitated before he spoke again.
"My sister."
"Is she-?" curiosity was taking over me.
"We don't know whether she's alive or not." Just then a thousand more questions entered my mind.
"What happened?" Again, he took a while to answer.
"She ran away." My heard pounded. "Her best friend died in a road accident, she was so upset..." I felt that it pained him to speak of her, yet he seemed open with telling me. "She was 18 when she left. Now she would be 21." I gasped; three years! "Not a day goes by where I don't think about her."

The sadness of my parents faded away. But I knew it would be back, it always comes back.
"I am so sorry." I wiped the remainder of my wet face with the back of my hand.
"Don't be. You're stronger than you know... Are you feeling any better?" His eyes bore into mine. I could only nod, he took my breath away. He stroked my back, I breathed heavily as I calmed myself down. As I looked out towards the fields I saw the sun beginning to rise from behind the trees. Morning was dawning. The thought of a new day made me happier, a new day is a chance to start again. Kellin stood up, holding out his hand to me. It felt weird when his touch was not completely around me; I made the most out of our last point of contact.

"Thank you Kellin."
He shook his head, "Scarlett, if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, I'm here, don't ever forget that."
I stepped forward and pulled him into a final hug, offering him one last smile.
"Goodbye Scarlett."

...........

My eyes cracked open. I touched my face, my cheeks were still tender and sore from the night before. Yet again I had slept through a good part of the day. By the time I was ready and showered it was already three in the afternoon. I don't know where Molly was, so I headed out to the fields as the weather was fantastic. Instantly, my eyes fell upon Kellin; he sat on the wall on the outskirts of the trees.
"Hey," I smiled as I approached him.
"Hello," he smiled, "how are you?"
"I'm fine, I wanted to thank you again about last night."
" Honestly, you don't need to thank me. I've been thinking, you deserve an explanation about the whole situation. You know I said..." he took a long pause and fiddled with his hands.. "You know I said it wouldn't work out?" His eyes met mine. I nodded, half thinking about last night, half thinking about what was coming.
"It's not you, it's me. I don't want to hurt you. I just want you to be happy."
"Why do you think you'd hurt me?" I hesitated and gripped my wrist. He doesn't need to know about that. I'm humiliated by it; ashamed.

"By how I am. Rose. I don't want to feel like I'm replacing her. I feel like I'm letting her down if I let another girl into my life. I wouldn't want you to feel as if you were coming second best." I knew it already; it's not going to happen. I can't talk to him about his sister now. It was taking every inch of my will power not to cry again.

"I'll have to talk to you later Kellin, I've got to go." I started to turn away.
"Where?"
"Anywhere but here..."
He grabbed my hand; fireworks fizzled in my heart. How could just one touch affect me to this extent after everything? "Then let's go somewhere else." He pulled me alongside him into the forest, I wasn't refusing. Eventually we came into a clearing. There was a dull ache in the pit of my stomach, an ache that wanted him. He stopped and turned to me.
"Kel-"
"Sshh." He put his finger to my lips. Taking them away he exhaled heavily.
"I know what I said, but with every moment, I'm finding it harder and harder to hold back this feeling."