Turn The Page

Chapter 31

"Page, I don't like this," June said, frustrated. She rubbed both the side of her head with her fingers as if she was trying to relieve herself of a headache. "Ma," was all Page could say. She was crying the entire time. "I really don't get why you would say something like that when you know kung gano ako kagalit sa taong may gawa nun samin ng pamilya ko," June said. Her heart was pounding heavily on her chest. She was starting to fume with anger, but she couldn't help but worry about Page's breathing. "Ma, hindi ko sinasadya," Page cried. She had both of her hands together in between her knees. Her head was bowed down and her shoulders were slumped. She rocked herself back and forth, afraid of what else June would say. "Page," June said. She was torn between anger and empathy towards her new daughter. Then she faced her. Her whole body was shaking. Both of her hands formed into fists. She was starting to sweat, she was uncomfortable to say the least. Her face showed a mixture of emotions, but Page was afraid to look at her. "Do you realize what you have done? Do you realize kung anong magnitude ng ginawa mo? Did it ever occur to you how many lives were claimed that night?" June asked, her face started to burn as anger surfaced. Page inhaled a few times from crying, but June couldn't get herself to comfort her. "Dumating ka sa buhay ko and here I thought ikaw magbubura ng lahat ng lungkot at lahat ng galit that have taken over me this past year. Page," June said. Then she paused, her chest was starting to tighten and she became lightheaded. "You're opening up the wounds that have started to heal, but not only that, it's like you scraped them again with a knife then poured alcohol all over it. Walang wala pa yan sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon, Page," she said. Tears fell from her eyes as she looked at her daughter. "I trusted you. I opened up my home for you. I made you part of this family, my family, my life. Lahat ng meron ako binigay ko sayo. Buong puso ko, I laid it all out for you and made myself vulnerable in front of you. I treated you like my own daughter. And for what? For you to tell me that you--you were the reason why my husband died. You were the reason why my own daughter was taken away from me, why her life was cut short, why all of her dreams will never ever be achieved. Ikaw ang rason kung bakit I will never get to see her grow old and have her own family. You. Ikaw--ikaw na minahal ko ng buong buo. Ikaw na I've opened myself up to. Ikaw na have fully occupied the empty space in my heart that was left by the family that I lost. Ikaw na hindi ko lang pinatira sa bahay ko kundi sa puso ko rin. Page, why? Bakit ikaw? Bakit ikaw pa?" June said. Then she wailed so loud, it gave Joel the goosebumps. Page bowed her head down and sobbed louder too. She felt extremely ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry po," was all she could say while she cried. "Page, I accepted you for who you are. And with arms wide open, I accepted every single baggage you came with because I knew those shouldn't define who you are as a person. I did everything for you out of love, and I did all those things for you without asking for anything in return pero eto pala ang kapalit. Page, namatay ang asawa't anak ko, dahil SAYO. I lost them because of YOU. And you know what? Ikaw din pala yung pumatay sakin," June said, beyond disappointed. Then she wiped her tears before she opened the car door. "Ma," Page called out to her. "San ka pupunta?" She asked worriedly. "Ma," Page called out to her again. Joel got out of the car at the same time that Page did to follow her mother. "Ma, san ka pupunta? Baka mapano ka," Page said while she cried and ran after her. "Leave me alone for now, Page. I need to be alone," June said while she continued to walk away. Then she stopped and looked at Joel. "Mang Joel, take her home. Please. Take her to April. I don't know. Just leave me alone for now, both of you," she said then she continued walking away from the two. "Ma, hindi ligtas dito. Gabi na. Please. Aalis ako, babalik ako sa bahay ampunan. Please lang, dun ka na lang sa bahay mo, 'wag na dito. Delikado dito. Please," Page begged while she followed her. "Page, I need for you to stop and step away, and leave me be," June said as calmly as possible. Her hands were stretched out in front of her, signalling for space. Page started breathing even faster. Tears flooded from her eyes. "Ma, sorry. Alam ko madami nakong kasalanan sayo, pero hindi ko kayang iwanan ka dito. Masyadong delikado. Ayokong may mangyaring masama sayo," she said as she continued to cry. People around them were staring at the two of them. June stared at her daughter. She felt heartbroken just by looking at her. "Sige na, ma. Alam ko wala akong karapatan para humiling sayo. Pero nagmamakaawa ako sayo, ma. Bumalik ka na sa kotse mo. Magji-jeep ako. Babalik ako sa bahay ampunan," Page pleaded again, her eyes were swollen from crying. "No," June said firmly. "I'm going to call April and ask her to pick you up here. You're not going to ride the jeep on your own. Dun ka na muna sa tita mo, I'm sure she wouldn't mind," she said before walking away. Then she went over to Joel and asked him to make the phone call to April. She stared at Page before she finally went back inside the car.