Turn The Page

Chapter 72

June smiled. "Eto talaga wala na lang ginawa kundi paiyakin ako," she said to Page who was staring and smiling back at her. "Buti na lang po talaga pinayagan tayo ni sister Berlin na magkita ulit," Page said and June nodded her head. "I told you, she's your best friend. Would you want to meet them again? I mean, ready ka na bang ma-meet sila ulit?" June asked. Her daughter swallowed in response. "It's okay if you're not ready," June said. She took her daughter's hand and held it. "Nakakahiya po kasi," Page claimed. "Why?" June asked. Then she frowned. "Hindi ko lang po alam kung pano haharapin yung mga taong naging parte ng buhay ko noon pero hindi ko na maalala ngayon. Nakakahiya po lalo na dahil nakalimutan ko sila--sila na naging malaking parte ng pagkatao ko, sila na nagligtas sakin, mga taong walang ibang hinangad kundi mapabuti yung kalagayan ko. Ma, nakakaihiya po yung hindi ko na lang sila maalala bigla," Page explained. June could see the loneliness in her eyes, so she squeezed her daughter's hand gently. "Paalala ko lang sayo anak ha, na hindi mo naman toh ginusto. Nobody wanted this to happen to you or to any of us, maiintindihan yun ng mga madre sa orphanage. Ang importante ngayon is that you're alive. You're trying to get well as soon as possible. Dun tayo mag-focus, sweetheart. At least andyan ka pa rin, it's never too late to start over again. Mahirap, pero I'd take this any day basta buhay ka at safe at healthy. At please lang, alisin na natin tong oxygen mo. I hate seeing you on that thing," June pleaded. Page smiled in return. "Ma, nasabi ko na po ba sayo noon na salamat?" She asked. June was caught off guard. Then she swallowed. She took a deep breath. "You always thank me every night before we go to bed. You always thank me for coming into your life and saving you, sa pag-accept ko sayo, sa pagbukas ko ng bahay at puso ko for you," she confirmed. Page smiled in response. "Then why do you have the urge to cry?" She asked. "Hindi ah," her mother denied as she tried to sit up straight. "Asus, si mama po oh. Naiiyak ka po eh," Page insisted. June couldn't help but giggle. "Page," she said. "Yes po?" Page replied. "I'm sorry," June said as she swallowed. "Po?" Page asked confused while her eyebrows met. Her mother's apology confused her. "Para saan po?" She asked. "Because you never failed to thank me pero I feel like ako, I don't thank you enough for coming into my life and saving me, too," June said. Just in time, a tear escaped her eye. "Ma," Page replied as she reached for her mother's face to wipe the tear that had just fallen into her cheek. "Di mo naman po kelangan mag-thank you. Kahit di ko na po maalala kung pano tayo napunta sa isa't-isa, sa kwento mo pa lang po alam ko na kung gano yung impact mo sa buhay ko. Ramdam na ramdam ko po sa puso ko," Page tried to assure her. June shook her head. "What if I'm just sugarcoating everything? What if I'm just making myself look like I'm a good mother pero ang dami ko palang pagkukulang at kasalanan sayo? What if I was just trying to make myself look good?" June asked. Page looked her straight in the eye. "Kaya nyo pong gawin yun sakin?" She asked. June shook her head. "See. Sabi ko naman po sa inyo, ma, I trust you. Diba po?" Page reminded her. June took a deep breath. "I don't want to lose you, Page," she blurted out. "Ma naman po eh. Diba kasasabi ko lang po sa inyo na hindi po ako magpapaagaw? Wala ka pong dapat ikatakot," Page reassured her again. "You're just too damn precious. I just--I don't know. Anyone can take you away from me. All these people--even si kamatayan--," June was saying when Page shook her head and shushed her mother. "Ma, 'wag po tayo nag-iisip ng ganun. Kayo din naman po ah. Pwede ka pong maaksidente, pwede ka pong atakihin sa puso, magkasakit--pwede ka mag-asawa tapos mag-adopt ng ibang anak--," Page was saying when June cut her off this time. "Grabe sa imagination naman, anak," June said. Then she laughed. "Ma, ikaw po kaya nag-umpisa," Page reminded her again. "Sabi ko nga," June replied. "Ikaw po kasi eh. Ano ano pong iniisip nyo. Ma, pag dun po tayo naka-focus, san na lang po tayong dalawa pupulotin? We'll live our lives scared na may mangyari at kumuha sa isa't isa. Hindi po natin ma-eenjoy yung moment natin ng mag-kasama kasi masyado po tayong fixated sa pwedeng mangyari sating dalawa. Right now, let's just enjoy each other's company. I want to get to know you more. I want to remember every detail about you pero kung hindi, ikaw naman mag-susupply sakin nun. Don't worry, ma, we have forever to go," Page said with a gentle smile. "You don't know that," June said worriedly. "Ma," Page said then she swallowed. "Ilang beses ka ng muntik mawala sakin," June said worriedly. "Pero andito pa din po ako diba po? Pwede dun na lang po tayo mag-focus? Ipasalamat na lang po natin sa Diyos na andito pa po tayo sa tabi ng isa't-isa. Sige sabihin na po nating walang forever dito sa mundong toh. Pero doon sa taas, ma, meron. Kung kunin man po ako sayo, magkikita pa po tayo ulit doon," Page said. "Naman eh," June whined. Page took a deep breath. "Ma, napaparanoid na po kayo masyado. Andito pako, andito pa po ako. Naiintindihan ko po kung bakit kayo nagkakaganyan, pero ma, wala pong maitutulong yan," Page said worriedly. June swallowed. "I'm sorry," she said. "Cute cute ng mama ko oh," Page said as she lightly touched her mother's nose. "Don't be charming. I'm worried," June complained. Page laughed a little. "Okay, bahala po kayo mag-worry dyan. Masistress ka lang tapos masistress din ako kasi stressed ka so matagal po ako gagaling," she said. "Ikaw ha marunong ka talaga," June claimed. Page laughed again. "Ikaw naman po kasi. Hindi pa nga po ako patay pero parang pinagluluksaan mo na po ako eh andito pa naman ako," Page replied. "That's not funny," June said. "Hay mama, ano po ba dapat sabihin ko?" Page asked. "Just promise me you'll stay safe and healthy and away from harm," June answered. "I promise," Page replied. June nodded her head as she took a deep breath, "That will do for now."