When It's Just Us ~TofuuDiger1~

12

~Poke~

I hardly slept. At all. All night. I just lay under the covers of my bed thinking about today. Or well, yesturday. Considering it was almost 2 am now. When Joe was on my mind, I could never rest. Or relax. Or focus...

Oh well. 

~Tofuu~

I woke up the next morning twenty minutes earlier then normal. But I wasn't tired? I looked at my phone as its bright screen buzzed to life. I saw an unread message from Zach. 

Hey bud :D Srry its early but I couldn't sleep bc of you <3

It was sent about an hour ago. I responded, not knowing if he was asleep or not.

It's okay <3 How are u going 2 go 2 school with no sleep?

He responded not a minute later.

Coffee? lol, don't worry about me. U feeling okay? Still upset?

I was upset..? When?

Why would I be upset?

Because I told you I loved you..? ._.

Oh yeah...

No. I'm okay <3 

Good. and I know u wouldn't say it back.

How was I suppose to respond? I thought of an easy way out.

K. Well I have to get ready for school. See you in a bit. Bye

Bye.

I hope that wasn't as awkward on his side of the conversation. I put my phone down and went to the bathroom to shower. 

~Poke~

He just ended our conversation? We had almost twenty minuetes before either of us had to get ready. I suppose I wouldn't want to take about that if I where him either. So I won't hold it againced him. Instead I'll hold my hand againced him. Againced his. And I will soon.

Honestly? I didn't feel tired. At all. I guess it's because my mind was racing all night. I couldn't calm myself down if I tried. Which I really didn't do. I wanted my mind focused around Joe. Joe made my brain produce the most dopamine. He made me insanly happy. Even though we literally started talking a few days ago. Inside I wish he felt the same for me. But I know he wont, at least not for a while. And a part of me believes that he will never feel the same, that this is just some highschool crush for him.

My heart aches every time I think like this. But sometimes, I can't get my mind off it. Because I really, truly, honestly, full-heartedly loved him. And I don't know what I would do if one day, Joe called me up and said it was over.

Because once this is over, it's all over.

But I don't know how to tell Joe that.

~Tofuu~

My feelings for Zach didn't seem as strong as his for me. Not saying I don't like him, just saying he is insanly in love with me. I can tell by the way he looks to me and talks to me. 

I need to make the decision...

Because I don't know if I will ever be able to return his feelings, I need to stop before I hurt him.

I can either wait it out and see if I can start the feelings, or I need to end it before I hurt Zach. Or hurt him more than I need to. I don't want to keep this up, and watch my feelings fade. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be. On me, and him.