When It's Just Us ~TofuuDiger1~

13

~Tofuu~

I had planned it out... Once Zach comes over so we can go to school, i'll hint that i'm breaking up with him. I wont kiss him, and i'll barley touch him. Then when we leave to walk i'll tell him. That way I know he wont do anything drastic. Or crazy. I don't want him hurting me, or himself. For that matter. And I hope we will still be friends. 

~Poke~

I practically ran up Joe's driveway. When really I only fast-walked up it. I knocked on the door, and tried to think of what I would say to him. I don't know...'goodmorning' just didn't seem right. 

Joe opened the door.

"Hey!" I said, feeling my smile widen, as it reached both my ears. "Hey.." He said low, almost sad. I lifted my arms and wrapped them around him. But he didn't hug me back. Not for a long moment. Once he did, he dug his face into my neck and shoulder. Like he was going to...cry. I pulled away and held his hands. "Joe, what's wrong? You feeling okay?" He drew his hands away from me. I slid mine into my pockets, trying to not feel awkward with this silence. "I um...I'm fine. But we need to talk." I was getting worried...

"Can we kiss instead..?" I asked as I stepped closer to kiss him. "N-No." He said as he backed away. My shoulders slumped. What was this all about?

"Come on, let's get going." He walked past me and down his driveway. I turned and ran after him. 
"Joe? Joe! Hey, stop!" I pulled his arm to make him stop walking. "What's up, man? Why...Why can't I kiss you? Or hold your hands? Is it..Is it because of what I said?" For a long time, he didn't look at me. Then when he did turn to look at me, tears streamed down his face and I could see he was trying hard to keep them back. 

But he was failing.

His voice was cracked and sounded as though he was twelve. 

"I-I... Think it is in our, both of our best interests to...to...b-break up." My breath cought in my throught. "You...what?" He whipped his eyes and looked deep into mine. Which started filling with tears as well. "Why! Didn't you say...say that it was okay for me to say it? I'm sorry if my feelings caused this! I...Just wanted you to know I didn't know it would cause you to leave me. P-Please Joe. I'm sorry. So, so sorry!" He grabbed my shoulders tightly and shook me slightly. "No! Don't say you are sorry, Zach. Because it's not your fault. It's mine. All mine. I can't return your feelings. I just can't feel the same! And if we stay together, it'll only make it worse." I shook my head angrily. "How! How is staying together going to make it worse? It would make it better!" "No. Zach, you dodn't understand. My fellings as they are now, will only fade. Not grow stronger. But yours will. You would just fall deeper and deeper in love and I would be done. Don't you see? I'm trying to help!" 

I forced my lips to his. At first he kissed back. I knew he didn't want this. Didn't want us apart. But I did understand what he was saying... But that doesn't change the fact that I hated it. 

He released my shoulders and gently shoved me away from him. "I'm sorry, Zach. I truly, truly am. I hope you understand, and I hope we can still be friends.." "Friends!? You think I can be friends with the one I care about the most! Everytime I look at you I'll remember the times we kissed. And I'll want to do it again! If you break up with me, right now, Joe. We can't be friends." He kicked at a small peble lying next to his feet. He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Then.." He lifted his head and looked at me. Making his hair flip to the side. 

"We can't be friends."