HEART ACHE <3 REDDIE

chap 8: yatzee

Eddie

Richie wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't talk to me. I knew he was lying about not knowing what I was talking about but I wasn't ready to press it. The last thing I wanted was for Richie to be mad at me.

I apologized for being late as Stan laughed loudly and clung to Bill. They were all playing yatzee as I kicked my shoes off and sat between Mike and Bev. Richie sat on the floor across from me, between Bill and Ben. His expression was hard to read.

Please don't be mad, Rich. Please.

"You wanna join?" Bev nodded toward the board before taking a swig of her beer. I hated beer. I was a wine boy. Richie lit up a cigarette and grabbed a beer, though, cracking it open and taking a drink which made me cringe.

"I-"

"Actually I wanna talk to Eddie really quick." Stan cut me off, setting his wine bottle down on the table.

He's drunk. He's so drunk.

I stared at him as he stood, wobbling toward Bev's room.

I hesitantly followed behind and shut the door behind me, standing in front of Stan as he sat on the bed. I was nervous. And mad. So mad.

"Eddie I'm sorry-"

"You're right."

His eyes grew wide and he knitted his eyebrows together.

"What?"

"I asked Richie about it. He pushed it off," I shook my head, "I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I don't want my idea of Richie to change. He's always been a ladies man. Hell, he got a girls number tonight! Her name is Jane and... and..."

"Eddie!" Stan grabbed my wrist. And I nearly cried. I felt like he was yelling at me. I felt like I was talking about myself. I was talking about myself.

"I'm worried, Stan." I was worried. I was worried about Richie, but I was more worried about myself. I felt sick with myself. I fought back tears as I looked at Stan. I nearly said it.

I'm gay, Stan. I like boys and I think I like Richie and I'm so fucking scared.

"Eddie-"

"I'm scared." My voice shook. I was about to burst into tears.

I wanted to say it. I wanted to tell him so bad. But I didn't have to say anything. He stood, pulling me into a hug as I laid my head on his chest, crying into his shirt.

"Stan...I'm gay."

"Shh. I know, Eddie." He ran his hand up and down my back as I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay there forever.

"Are we interrupting something?" Ben's voice made me jump back. Bev and him stood in the doorway, wide eyed.

"How much did you hear?" I panicked.

"Eddie..." Bev started.

"How much?" I snapped, sniffling and frantically wiping away tears.

"We won't say a word. Okay?" Ben said softly. I needed to puke. And I did. I grabbed Bev's bedside trash can and vomited right there in front of everyone. Stan took a step back as Ben cringed, but Bev rushed over to rub my back.

It was over. They knew. They knew before I even got to choose to tell them. It wasn't fair.

The second I caught my breathe I looked between my 3 friends.

"Not a word to anyone. Nobody. Please." I begged. They all nodded.

"Of course, Eddie. Let's play some yatzee, huh? " Bev smiled, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. I swallowed and wiped puke away from my mouth, nodding.

And so we played yatzee.