HEART ACHE <3 REDDIE

chap 27: poem

Richie

I couldn't miss anymore school, I had already missed so much work, so the Monday of that week I dragged my sorry ass to class with Jane on my heels.

"To make up for you ditching me I was thinking about a movie date!" She chirped.

"Mhm." I hummed. English. I had to see him. To talk in front of him. To be near him. Mr. Stewart would talk about those stupid poems that were due and I had rushed the night before to finish it. I just hoped he wouldn't make us read them outloud cause I made a stupid rhyme about my dad.

I felt too empty to put work into anything. It was like there was a piece of me missing.

"Are you still upset over you and Eddie's fight? Are you gonna tell me what it was about now?" Jane babbled on.

"No." I groaned, rubbing my eyes.

"I hate to see you like this." She sighed and as if on que Bev jogged up beside me, Ben behind her.

"Yeah, Tozier. You've got an Eddie sized hole in your heart without your best bud." She teased.

"Oh fuck off Bev," I scoffed.

"She's just joking, Rich-" Ben cut in.

"You fuck off too. And you." I narrowed my eyes at Jane before disappearing.

He was there. He had bags under his hazel eyes. His hair was still neat. God I loved his neatness.

I passed him, forcing myself to not look at him which wasn't hard to do considering I couldn't even see him without glasses. I felt him staring at me when the bell rang, and when Mr. Stewart started speaking.

Don't look back at him. Don't. Don't.

"Richie! Why do you share your poem?" Mr. Stewart smiled. I froze up. I just stared at him, unable to speak. I couldn't talk in front of Eddie. I couldn't. If I opened my mouth I'd vomit.

"Thank you Mr. Tozier," he sarcastically said, "Mr. Kaspbrak. Share your poem with us."

I wanted to look at him. So bad. I could just see him fumbling to unfold his paper, and when I heard the rustle I knew I was right.

"Uh okay... uh." His voice shook as he walked to the front of the class. He was shaking. I wanted to say something stupid, make a weird noise, anything to take the attention off him.

Remember how he made you feel, Richie. Don't you dare help him.

He cleared his throat. "I have loved you so hard and so long, I'd have to be reborn for even a thought of you to be gone," His voice started shaking again, "I watch you be happy, missing what once was we, and even though I said different, your love means so much to me."

He stared up at me. God he made eye contact and tears were swelling in his eyes. I heard a few people start to giggle and whisper.

God damn it help him!

I stared back into his eyes and started clapping loudly, standing up. He looked a bit relieved as he watched me and soon other people joined into the clapping.

Eddie stared at me with watery eyes, as if to say thank you. I dramatically whistled.

It's about me. The poem is about me and he loves me. And I need a smoke.