HEART ACHE <3 REDDIE

chap 28: b-b-breakup

Richie

I leaned against the bleacher railing, one of my many smoking spots. Skipping second period wasn't that bad of me. I actually rarely did bad things, and skipping school wasn't new. My eyes were watery and my throat was hoarse.

"You have too many smoking spots." Jane had scared Richie, sitting down on the dirt next to him with a soft smile.

Now Richie. End it. End it now. That poem. Eddie loves you.

I felt my stomach lurch and Jane must've seen this disgusted look on my face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She asked quietly. I just stayed quiet and looked at her with gentle eyes, as if to say I'm sorry I ked you on but I kissed my best friend.

"Okay. Guessing game. Is it your parents?"

I shook my head.

"Is it your friends?"

No.

"Did I do something..." She asked softly. Her voice was now shaking. God damn it.

Richie you're a shitty person. You fucking suck. You're hurting her like Eddie hurt you.

"Did... did you do something?" She seemed scared to ask the question and then my eyes started to feel dry. The dry when I was trying not to cry from anger. Anger at myself.

I nodded.

"Richie..." she whispered, tears now swelling in her eyes as she inched closer to me.

"I kissed someone." I admitted.

She looked hurt. I could see the pain in her eyes as she looked broken. A tear dropped into her lap. Onto her soft thighs that I had grabbed.

"W... who?" She stuttered. Her voice broke.

God I want to say but I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't Jane.

"At least tell me who, Richie!" She yelled.

"Eddie, okay?!" I blurted. Her eyes grew wide and she looked utterly confused. The silence was thick.

She's gonna tell. Everyones gonna know you're a sick little gay boy. Gross little gay boy. You're nasty. You're -

"Do you love him?" she asked.

I swallowed sharply. Swallowing back tears.

"Do you love him?" She repeated but her voice was softer, almost understanding.

I felt my lip tremble and I nodded.

She stared at me for just a few more seconds.

"I gave you my virginity. I... I..." She started but stood and turned away from me.

"Jane!" she snapped her head over her shoulder, "please. Please don't tell anyone."

She seemed to heave a sigh.

"I won't."