HEART ACHE <3 REDDIE

chap 39: oh nuts!

Eddie

"I don't need him!" I cracked a peanut into my palms. Bev and Ben watched as I munched down on the peanut with a bit too much anger.

"Eds, don't you think you should calm down on the... uh.. nuts?" Ben cleared his throat and Bev let out a little half-chuckle.

"Don't worry. I'm done with nuts forever. I'm done with men forever. I knew the consequences of coming out during the fucking aid epidemic but I still did it. Why? I could still be pretending to be straight."

Bev and Ben fell quiet while they watched me crack another peanut.

"I meant the peanuts." Ben tucked in his lips shyly. I felt my face heat up and looked down at the bowl of peanuts in front of me, which was already half empty.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry," I mumbled.

After Bev's giggles died down she cleared her throat, making eye contact with me.

"I think, and hear me out, that you should talk to Richie-"

"No." I cut her off.

"Because you both clearly miss each other-"

"No."

"And he's obviously unhappy with Connor-"

"No."

"And you love each other."

I let out a small groan and threw my head back, sighing loudly. I hated hearing that over and over. How was I supposed to get Richie out of my head if everyone kept drilling his name into my brain? I was already thinking of him enough without Bev or Stan or Bill or Mike or Ben or anyone having to remind me over and over. It felt like the only person not killing me was my mom, which was a first, but she was probably happy Richie wasn't coming around any more. He was a "bad friend" to me. More like he broke my heart, Sonya.

"Bev. Stop. Okay? You are making me loose my fucking mind here."

"You're doing that to yourself." She shrugged. She knew she was right and I knew she was right, but I hated admitting anyone but me was right.

I just stared back at her, then over to Ben before quietly cracking another peanut. I heard a sigh come from Ben and Bev shuffled out from their spots on the sofa, making their way toward the door.

"See you tomorrow for game night, Eddie." Ben smiled. And they left. They left me to crack my peanuts and my doubts and I couldn't blame them.

The tv flashed before me and I laid down onto the cushions, finally letting warm tears stain my cheeks. Almost on cue the mail flew through our slot in our door. I looked at the envelope on the top, wiping away my tears with the back of my hand. On the top in big black letters was UNIVERSITY OF HEALTH EDUCATION.