HEART ACHE <3 REDDIE

Chap 13: oh that boy.

Eddie

Bev and I walked in silence. It was a comfortable silence. We hsd walked Stan and Ben home already so now it was just us. I liked being around Bev. She made me feel secure and safe, she was a total badass.

"So you and Ben?" I spoke up, turning to her. A small smile spread across her face but she still looked down at the sidewalk.

"We've been dating for 4 months." She grinned. My eyes grew wide and I laughed in disbelief I wasn't told sooner.

"What? Why didn't you guys say anything?"

"I don't think Bill would be ready for that. I mean, he was my first boyfriend, ya know?" she shrugged, "Richie almost caught us when he called to tell us about his job."

Richie. Oh god. I had completely forgotten about him. I forgot about the despair he gave me in the pit of my stomach.

I fell quiet again, tucking in my lips as my mind wondered back to Richie as it constantly did.

God I hate him and his dumb glasses and loud laugh and he's so messy and he spits a lot and he smokes cigarettes and-

"What about Richie?" Bev asked. My head snapped up and our eyes met. She had lit a cigarette and I didn't even notice.

"What about him?" I tried to play dumb. The last thing I wanted to do was address my feelings about that four eyed freak.

"You can play stupid with the others all you want but it won't work on me, Eddie." she took a drag from her cigarette as I sighed.

"I don't know, Bev. I really don't know. He confuses me and I hate him. He's selfish and loud and obnoxious and messy and I like the fact I hate him because liking him is a lot more scary to me." I explained, staring at the leaves by my feet.

I heard her take another puff of her cigarette and it was quiet for a few seconds, like she was thinking.

"That summer. The one we don't talk about," she started and I turned my eyes toward her, "We were all scared for ourselves. None of us wanted to die. We didn't want each other to die. But Richie. He held you extra close when something bad happened. He yelled your name first when he got scared."

I furrowed my eyebrows as she stared up at the sky. The moon casted a glare in her eyes. I remained quiet.

"And you fell through that roof and broke your arm and that... that... fucking clown. It came toward us. It was gonna kill us. And I grabbed Richie's shirt cause we all thought we were gonna die and I didn't want to die by myself. And do you remember what Richie did?"

I had to think back. I hated thinking about it, I already dreamed about it enough, but I did.

"He grabbed my face and told me to look at him." I answered, confused as hell as to where she was going with this.

"Eddie. Richie thought he was going to die and he told you to look at him. He wanted the last thing he saw to be you." She turned to look at me and suddenly I felt my heart start to beat a bit faster.

We had reached my front porch steps and I stopped, still staring at her.

"I think that Richie doesn't know about how you feel, but I don't think you know how Richie has felt since we were kids." She finished, taking off down the sidewalk.

"Night Eds!" she waved, cigarette still in hand. I stood there for a bit, still processing, in shock. I had to steady my breathing with a few inhaler puffs before breaking into a small smile.