Neon Afterlife

29

Markus and Alex sat behind a light board in the auditorium at the school. The room was dark and only their faces were illuminated by the small desk light clipped to the board. Markus had his fingers on a few of the sliders and he gently pushed one up. As he did so a spot light grew from darkness to a brilliant white. And underneath it stood Joy. Markus hit play on the computer next to him and music surged forth from the speakers. Then Joy began to dance.

Her movements were graceful and primal at the same time. She flowed across the stage. She crouched. She leapt. Her solo routine mesmerized Alex - until Jason appeared in her light. They danced together flawlessly. They moved as one, limbs entwined, until they broke apart. The eyes and hands longing for each other as they drifted further apart on stage. The lights followed them then went dark.

Alex was speechless. There was passion in their dance. She saw it. There was a connection between them. She felt it. They belonged together. She knew it. She thought about her future and how she'd never be able to move like that again. She'd never be a partner equal to Jason. And he deserved one. Was she being selfish making him dance with her? But it was his idea. But that was before she got injured. But seeing them together, how could she hold him back?

"That was beautiful," she said. "Can we do it again?"

The four of them sat sprawled out on the floor with a couple of nearly empty pizza boxes. Sweat drenched their clothing; except for one.

"You guys all look so tired," Markus teased.

Jason threw a piece of crust at him.

"Anybody have plans for Christmas?" Joy asked.

Markus shook his head.

"Same old family stuff," Jason said.

Alex hadn't thought about Christmas. She'd been so wrapped up in this mission that she'd forgotten she was alone. Her demeanor shifted as she thought about her parents. Her face fell and she climbed into her chair, "I'll be right back." She wheeled herself off stage.

After a moment, Joy nudged Jason, and when he looked at her, she nodded towards where Alex had disappeared to. He got to his feet, "Right." And he went off after her. Joy and Markus watched him go then looked at each other and smiled.

Jason found Alex backstage, just sitting silently in the dark.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked.

She nodded, "Just thinking."

"About?"

"You should do the showcase with Joy, not me."

"Nah, what's the point in that?"

"I'm holding you back. If you dance with her then everyone will see what an amazing talent you are."

"This showcase isn't about me," he replied. "It's never been about me."

"But it should be."

He shook his head.

"I don't want to do it anymore." She couldn't meet his eyes. The lie seared her tongue.

He put his hands on the arms of her chair and bent down to peer into her eyes, but she wouldn't look at him.

"If you aren't going to do it," he said. "Then neither will I."

"You have to."

"I don't have to do anything," he said. "I don't care about this. I don't care about dancing anymore. I'm only doing this for you and if you're done, so am I."

Silence.

She refused to look at him as tears welled in her eyes. She only wanted what was best for him. She couldn't meet his gaze. She knew he'd see straight through her lies. But she couldn't let him sacrifice everything for her. Even if he wanted too. So they sat there in silence. Him staring and her looking away until he gave up and stormed out leaving Alex to sit alone. She cried to herself, silent tears.

After a few moments, Joy emerged from the shadows.

"Jason says we're done?" she accused.

Alex shook her head, "I am, but you two should do it together."

"Why?"

Alex looked at her, "I watched you. You two have a connection. You belong together.

"Jason and I have known each other for over 15 years," she said. "At one time I thought we'd be together, but we won't. What you see as a connection is just history. We know each other."

"That's what I mean. You two really know each other."

"And I know him well enough to know that his heart isn't in ballet. It hasn't been for a while," she said. "That passion you see out there. That's new. That's because of you."

Alex shook her head.

"I would love to have had Jason want me," she continued, "but he doesn't. He wants you. He could have chosen any girl. He picked you."

"You just feel sorry for me." Alex looked at her with tear stained cheeks.

"The only thing I'm going to pity in you is if you're dumb enough to push a great guy away," she said. "You need to fix this." And Joy walked away.

After a moment, Alex scrubbed at her face to wipe away the tears and wheeled herself back out to the stage. As she arrived, Joy and Markus were making their way out of the theater. Jason sat in a chair; rolling a small piece of pizza over and over in his hand. He looked like he was contemplating the creation of the world and human existence on cooked dough.

Joy waved back at them as she exited, "See you tomorrow." And the door closed leaving Alex and Jason alone.

She rolled up to him, "I'm sorry."

"I know." He looked at her. "I know this is hard and you don't have to do it. Not for me. Not for anybody else. Do this for you or don't do it at all."

"I'm tired of focusing on myself," she replied. "It feels like that's all I've done for years. I don't want this to be for me. I want it to be for us." She put her hand in his. He let the pizza drop to the floor as their eyes met. They stayed that way for a moment, letting their emotions connect with a look in a way that words couldn't communicate.

Okay," he said. "For us."

***