Four To The End (prev Shifting Lines) - Book One (Marauder Era)

Chapter Forty-Three - Return to School

The second week of the holidays went a lot worse than the first week. Remus could sense something was really wrong with his parents but didn't dare ask. He figured it was his fault, for how he acted with McGonagall so he mostly skulked about the house with his head down, wishing he could fix things. At least his mother didn't bring up not-going-back-to-Hogwarts again, though on Tuesday she asked where the portkey was. He told her it was in his room and she grew anxious, saying he should give it to her for safekeeping.

"It's perfectly safe," he said, confused.

"I think it would be best if I had it," she replied.

Is that what she was looking for the other night? "Why?" he couldn't help but ask.

Hope stared in disbelief at her son. "I really don't appreciate your attitude, dear."

He had given her attitude? All he did was ask a simple question. Shrugging and fighting off the guilt, he went upstairs, retrieving the portkey from where he had put it under his pillow. When he gave it to his mother she wrapped it around her hands, studying it as if she couldn't believe what it would do. She kissed Remus's forehead before disappearing into her bedroom.

Finally Thursday and the first night of the full moon. Exhausted from the get go, he trudged around all day until just before sunset when his mother took him down into the basement. Suddenly Remus wished he had just gone back to school early. He had spent the past few moons in an entire house... now he was stuck in the small room again. He hesitated when Hope opened the door and she studied him with worry. Putting a shaky smile on, he went through the door, stripping off. He felt uncomfortable with his mother watching. She had done this for so long, but after the house in Hogsmeade and being alone...

He handed his clothes over and then wrapped a blanket around himself. "I'll see you in the morning," she said. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said then winced when she shut the door, plunging him in absolute darkness. There wasn't a speck of light that came through, the cracks around the door spelled heavily by his father to prevent anything from getting in or out. His wolfyness gave him the ability to see better in the dark however he needed at least a tiny bit of light for that to work, and here there was nothing. The only thing that could was air, from a vent in the ceiling; though that was magicked to prevent sound from getting out. Nobody could hear his cries.

His transformation was pretty rough. The wolf did not like returning to having so little room. The floor was soaked in blood, the walls splashed, the blanket destroyed. Hope began sobbing when she opened the door after sunrise, shouting until Lyall came down in a panic. He went a little pale as he picked up Remus's broken, battered body. Remus mumbled apologies as his dad carried him to the nearest bathroom. He was set down in the empty tub and Hope turned on the warm water so she could start cleaning him off. Unlike Pomfrey, she didn't bandage him up. Remus wasn't sure if it was more or less helpful, but once he was mostly cleaned off he curled up in the tub as his wounds kept bleeding. Hope knelt by the tub, stroking his hair, singing to him gently as he drifted in and out of sleep.

When he woke up around noon, most his wounds were healing up. There were a couple still nasty looking but he wasn't bleeding anymore. Hope cleaned him off again before helping him out of the tub and to his bedroom. She cleaned the blood out of the tub, tears dripping down on the red streaks. Once she finished washing up she made him a hearty lunch which he only partially ate before falling back asleep. Transforming took a huge amount of energy so he was always starving afterwards however typically he was too tired and/or in too much pain to be able to eat much.

Hope sat by his bedside, staring at his sleeping figure, everything inside of her raw and numb. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," she whispered, assuming Remus was still asleep; her voice woke him up however he remained still, too tired to reply. "I wish I had been a better mother. I should have--should have..." She let out a choking sound as bent forward, pressing her face against his side. He felt the blanket getting damp from her tears.