Hopeless

Chapter twenty-six

"Okay, see you tomorrow!", Magnus said. "See ya!", He heard Alec reply and left. He felt the cold metal of his keys in his jackets pocket and inhaled the cool evening air. Brooklyn wasn't busy at that time of night so traffic was pretty relaxed. It was too late for the average citizen to do shopping and stuff like this, yet too early to get the night life started. This time he was a little tense while getting to work- he hoped Vivien and Alec were getting along well. Although he knew she would take good care of Alec he still was worried. It was crazy- the man he was in love with moved in at his place. Magnus sighed- he has never been stuck in the friendzone for such and annoyingly long time. Usually, he would be the one to make the first step, but with Alec everything was different from what he has ever experienced from now. When Magnus first saw him, he fell in love with his face. Not even the bruises could stop his inner beauty from shining through. He never would have thought that love on first sight actually existed. And he never would have thought he would fall in love with his patient. He didn't allow those feelings. He tried to ignore them, always fearing to so something wrong, to make a mistake or let it distract him from his job. Then he didn't want to rush things. And now his feelings for Alec overwhelmed him everytime he saw him. He would have never imagined to meet the love of his life in the hospital. Catarina used to say that if you really find the love of your life, you will feel it. And Magnus could never relate. But now he did. Meeting Alec made him realize that all he has ever felt before was shallow and irrelevant. He wanted to hold Alec and never let go of him, he wanted to protect him at all costs. He wanted Alec to be his. But he didn't know whether Alec felt the same for him. When they just met Alec made some pretty obvious signs but Magnus blamed it on the meds. "Strong anesthesia makes all the fears go away, it lets you see the true thoughts and emotions of a person", Ragnor said when he told him about Alec, but it was hard to believe. It was hard to believe that such a wonderful man like Alec could have real feelings for him. But on the other hand, he knew he should look at things in a more positive way. He used to but throughout what he has experienced in life, it faded and negativity filled him. And this negativity poisoned all his former relationships. But he won't let it ruin the bond he has to Alec. Not this time.
Magnus parked his car and got to the hospital where he quickly greeted Raphael:" Hey Raph, what's up?" "Hey!", He waved, "I'm fine. I was working the day shift so I can go home in half an hour. Good luck tonight." "Yeah, thanks man. Good night.", Magnus replied and rushed into the changing room. Quickly he put on his doctor smock and brushed his hair. "Hey, looking good", Catarina said and Magnus whirled around. "Hey!", He greeted, smiling, "you're also working on the night shift tonight?" Cat nodded:" Yeah, the other internist got sick so I am working extra-shifts at the moment." Magnus sighed:" Oh, that sucks. Are you still catching enough of sleep? You look tired." "Thanks for reminding me.", Cat chuckled, "but I just ran out of concealer." Magnus frowned:", No, seriously, are you okay?" "I'm fine. Don't worry.", Cat said and smiled weakly. "Anyways, how are things going with Alec at the moment? How is it having him next to you all the time?", Cat asked while braiding her hair. Magnus shrugged:" Its different than I imagined it to be. I honestly thought it would be a lot more stressful but his recovery is going good and he doesn't need much help. Also Vivien is taking care of him while I am at work or while I sleep. I really don't want anything to happen to him." "Awh. It's so sweet hoe much you care about him. I've never seen you so in love.", Cat sighed. "Wait, I technically didn't tell you yet...", Magnus tried to deny but Cat immediately interrupted him:" Come on Bane, who are you fooling? You don't have to tell me you're in love with him, I can tell by myself! It's not that we have been friends for forever for no reason." Magnus scoffed:" Dammit, you're right. Yes, I am in love with Alec. But it won't work out anyways." Cat frowned:" Why do you think so? Weren't you trying to be less negative?" Magnus rolled his e,es:" I was, bit now I am just being realistic. Why would a guy like Alec fall in love with me?" "Because he is gay as fuck, lonely, also takes his job very seriously and you are a man nobody could reject!", Cat explained. "Come on, you are incredibly handsome, sweet, understanding, caring and literally everything you could ever possibly wish for! You are the perfect partner, especially for Alec.", Cat added. Magnus smiled weakly:"Thanks for the pep talk Cat. I really appreciate it. I just simply don't want to get my hopes up too high, I don't want to get hurt again, you know what I mean?" Cat nodded:" I do, but deep down inside I feel like you two are meant to be. You two are forever. And even though you may not think that at the moment, and even though you don't know each other for a long time, I feel like what you have is so special, it will last forever.", Cat said, holding Magnus' hand. "Maybe it will.", Magnus sighed, "Maybe it won't. But I guess we all are about to find out."