Hopeless

Chapter fourty-four

Alec left work early today as he didn't feel that well. He has been having a headache for quite some days now and he occasionally felt really sick. Today was one of these days. He felt drained, tired and exhausted since he left his bed this morning and as he started feeling a slight dizziness, he decided to better go home. Luckily, his thigh almost completely healed and he was finally able to walk without crutches. Some weeks ago, he thought he would throw a party because of it but now it didn't seem as that much of a relief to him anymore. When he finally arrived at Magnus' apartment he noticed the door wasn't locked. "That's weird.", He thought and opened the door. "Hello?", He asked carefully but got no response. Slowly, he walked into that apartment. The last thing he could use right now was witnessing Magnus' apartment being robbed. "Hello?", He tried again but still got no response. He closed the door and started checking all the rooms. Maybe, he just forgot to lock it this morning. Or Magnus arrived home early from his meeting with Cat? But why wouldn't he reply to Alec's Hello then? Alec checked the bedroom- nothing. He didn't find anyone or anything in the bathroom or the kitchen either. Slowly, he made his way to the last room he hasn't searched in yet- the guest room. With a squeak, the door swung open and he saw a girl. In fact, not some girl. It was Vivien, wearing her headphones. Alec couldn't help but laugh. With a wince Vivien whirled around but immediately relaxed recognizing it was Alec. "Damn, you scared me to death.", She said. Alec laughed and dropped himself on her bed:" So did you. I thought there would be a robbery going on or something." She laughed:" No, it's just me. Magnus called and said he would probably crash at Cat's so he wanted me to be here to accompany you." Alec smiled:" That's actually really sweet. Did he tell you why he was staying at Cat's though?" Vivien shrugged:" He said there was something going on at work they had to figure out." With a sigh, Alec let his upper body fall onto the bed, regretting it immediately afterwards because it really didn't help with his dizziness. "You alright?", Vivien asked concerned but Alec just nodded:" Yeah, sure." "Why are you back so early from work, then?", Vivien frowned. Alec rolled his eyes:" I might be sick or something, I kind of have a headache and stuff." Vivien looked at him reproachfully:" Have you told Magnus about it?" It's not like he has told me anything that has been going in his life.", Alec snapped. Now it was Vivien to roll her eyes:" When are the two of you finally are going to grow up? You are two men, not two kindergarden friends, I thought? What are you trying to achieve with this 'oh he isn't talking to me so I am not talking to him' behaviour?" Alec shrugged and just turned away his head but Vivien didn't stop. "Alec, look at me!", She commanded and Alec couldn't help himself but obey. "This is serious. You guys have to talk to each other. I know Magnus is going through some stuff right now and you clearly are too. You guys are in a relationship, you have to talk to each other?" "Okay, relax? I just have a headache, don't pretend as if I was dying or something.", Alec stated but that made Vivien even angrier:" How do you know, Alec? You survived an insane car crash, you had multiple surgeries all over your body, you could have internal bleedings right how, your brain could be swollen or whatever, you are not at your best health yet and this can be dangerous, whatever this is. Alec, don't play it down. It's serious." Alec rolled his eyes in annoyance. He knew he was being stubborn and probably driven Vivien crazy at the moment but he just couldn't be the pathetic little boy anymore. "It is just a headache, Vivien. The doctor has checked me. I have faith in the surgeons. I will be alright." "I wish I could be half as positive or naiv about this as you are, Alec. They might be surgeons and they might be damn good at what they're doing but they still aren't god's. They might have missed something. They might have messed up something in your diagnosis. The human body is so complex ,there is so much to destroy..." "So what? Hoe should I move on from now? Yes, this accident happened but are you trying to say that I should be worried about every headache for the rest of my life? I am sorry, but I won't.", Alec snapped and walked out of the room to finally get the rest he came home for. "Alec, I-", Vivien tried to calm him down but Alec cut her off immediately:" I know, Vivien. I don't want to hear it. I know you just want the best for all of us and I appreciate it but it's my life to wreck, not yours. And I'm a grown guy, I can make my own decisions. I appreciate the concern, but you are overdoing it." Then, he just shut the door and let himself fall onto his bed. Laying alone in this bed was weird, it has always been. He missed Magnus. He missed being near him, he missed their hugs, their kisses... He missed talking to him, spending time with him. As for now, Alec would do anything to just have a conversation with his boyfriend. And if that meant he would have to talk about his problems, he would do so. He didn't care what they would be talking about, he only cared about the fact they actually we're talking. About anything. Anyone. He just missed having a real boyfriend. Magnus has been so consumed by work and he himself has also distanced himself so much from the Man He loved- he couldn't do that anymore. He would talk to Magnus. He swore.