When I See You Smile

Chapter 9

NANG makarinig ng yabag sa hagdan ay napalabas si Roni sa bukas na pinto ng kanyang silid.

"Borj." Inabutan niya ito sa bungad ng hagdan.

"Bakit gising ka pa?" sa dilim ng hallway ay narinig niyang tanong nito. Base sa boses nito ay tila nakainom ito.

"You drank," sabi niyang may kalangkap na paninita. "Nangako kang hindi ka na iinom, Borj." Humakbong siya pasalubong dito. "What happened?" Halos alas-dose na ng hatinggabi. Hindi niya gustong isipin na kay Jane ito inabot ng dis-oras.

"I'm sorry, sa Libis ako dumaan at hindi ko napigilang bumaba sa isang bar. I have to think. But I ain't drunk."

"You made me worried," she said in a soft voice.

He stood looking at her with a fixed intensity. She opened her mouth, as if to inquire if something was wrong, but said nothing as he bent, gripped her hands, and raised her from the floor. Matagal na hinagkan siya nito, sa paraang hindi tulad ng dati. His mouth was moving on her hungrily. When she felt her bare feet on the floor, he kissed her on the neck.

"We don't have to be talking nonsense," wika nito sa mahinang boses. "Let me forget the shits of life, Roni." Muling sinakop nito ang kanyang mga labi.

Mabilis na pinanawan siya ng katinuan. The only thing she could think was the sensitivity in his hands on her waist, her hips, the undersides of her bosom. "A-ano'ng ginagawa mo?"

"Oh, Roni. Isn't it obvious?" Ikinulong siya nito sa mga bisig nito, rasped on her mouth. "I am making love to you."

When did Borj kiss her with that taste? Four years ago. And she was actually enjoying it. The feeling. The sensation. They were devouring, consuming her mind and all. Iginiya siya ng katawan nito sa dingding ng unang silid. Kasabay ng paglapat ng kanyang likod doon ay naging aware siya sa malakas na pagkabog ng kanyang dibdib, wari niya ay nagbabanta sa pagsabog anumang oras. It was against his chest that thumped as wildly as hers.

Then she was lying on the solid floor. He stared closely down her eyes, as he settled on top of her.

"Borj," tawag niya, kasabay ng nagtatalong takot at pag-ibig niya para dito.

"I'm sorry, Roni. It's too late to stop now."

"Oh, Borj!"

"Roni..."

She bit her lip and covered herself as she faced Borj. "W-we don't have to be sorry."

"Of course not," he said indignantly. "Pananagutan ko ang namagitan sa atin, alam mo iyan. Sasama ka sakin sa Kansas pagkatapos. Bago mangyari ito'y nag-isip ako. And I want you, love you that I don't want ever to be away from you anymore. Kung aalis ako'y magkasama tayo, Roni."

Tahimik na napayuko siya. Then she met his eyes so lovingly that there was something choking her hard. She was pained. Gusto niyang pumasok na sa kanyang kuwarto. Borj, hin---"

"I love you. At hindi maaaring sabihin ko lang iyan sa salita."

"Y-you proved you love me. At... at tama na muna 'yon." Why did guilt suddenly strike her? Pagkatapos ng pag-ibig na naramdaman niya sa mga bisig nito. Humakbang siya paatras at sa nagmamadaling paraan ay sinabi, "M-maaari tayong mag-usap mamaya. Pero hindi sa ayos kong ito. "She hurried inside her room.

Nagbibihis siya nang pumasok ito sa kanyang silid. "And this is what I'm paying for the urge of taking you completely?"

Napaigtad siya paharap dito mula sa tokador. Nakabihis na ito.

"Nagsisisi ka. Roni?" Pain stained his entire face and sat on one corner of the bed.

"I... I don't have to because I love you, Borj." Pagkatapos niyang kalmahin ang kanyang emosyon ay saka lamang niya ito hinarap. Tinitigan niya ito. "Bakit mo itinatanong iyan?"