Aftermath (Kakashi Hatake)

Part 13: wHaT?

Kakashi looked up at me as soon as I asked the question. "What did you just say?" I asked and he just looked at me with a searching look. Almost like he was desperately trying to read my mind with some randomly unlocked telepathic powers. "I was distracted. This was my fault and I'm sorry." Is what he chose to say but I shook my head. "No, wHaT did you just say?" I asked stressing the what so he would get my point. "I was...jealous." He said this time, realizing I did already know what he had said. I ripped my mask, well his mask, off my face and stared at him. He took his off as well and I admired his beauty for a while. "Why?" I asked quietly and suddenly he was standing before me, helping me stand and holding me at arms length. "I can't lose you so if I tell you why you have to promise to forget it...if you don't feel the same." I just nodded dumbly, anticipation building in my chest, all of my words stuck in my throat. "I love you."

That was it. Three words. My world shifting on it's axel. My reality no longer orbiting the sun but instead the boy, no, man standing in front of me. "How...How long?" I asked and he just half smiled and glanced away from me. "I think, I think since the first time I laid eyes on you but I didn't realize it until I thought you were gone. I realized that nothing mattered without you. I didn't matter without you. We are a team, you're my other half. Without you I would just be a broken soul. Another depressed veteran for as long as I could endure it before joining you on the other side." He explained his voice bitter towards the end. My mind was racing a mile a minute as I tried to put words together. "I love you too." This time it was his turn to look at me dumbfounded. Both of us just stood there staring at each other at a loss before we came to a realization at the same time and we were kissing. Our hands were all over each other, as if trying to prove to ourselves that this is real and not part of a dream or crazy genjutsu.

My back was slammed into the tree behind me, which normally wouldn't hurt but my injuries made it feel like I had just bruised my entire body, which might be true. "Ow." I wimpered as Kakashi jumped back, remembering my injuries. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, sunshine." He teased lightly and I laughed remembering that stupid nickname he gave me when we managed to get some liquor and have a bit of a party with a few of our friends. He was more than a little inebriated when suddenly he called me that stupid nick name. It made every burst into fits of rolling laughter. When I asked the reasoning behind it, he told me it was because of the meaning of my name which is Morning. I asked why not sunrise, because that would make more sense but he just stared at me like I was and idiot and said, "Because Sunshine sounds better." As if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I couldn't help but give him a goofy smile. "I can't believe I'm saying this but let's go home. I'm starting to get pretty sore." I sighed and Kakashi snapped out of the little daze he was in. He quickly gathered our mask in one hand and then held mine in his own as we walked home. Only a few minutes later I was curled up on our new fluffy couch drinking a cup of tea as Kakashi decided to finish unpacking our books into the shelf along the wall. Every now and then he would look up at me and give me the most beautiful, heart fluttering smile that I couldn't help but return. We both knew that now that I was up and about I needed to meet with the Hokage about the real details of my mission but I think we both agreed that today was for us. After he finished with the book case, which was the last box to be unpacked in this room, he looked a little lost. I laughed and patted the seat beside me. "Quit nesting, mother hen and take a seat. Bring me a book actually." I said and he laughed at me before grabbing my favorite book 'The Tale of a Gutsy Ninja' which had also been Minato-sensei's favorite. Kakashi plopped down beside me with his own book and soon we were in a natural position for us. Curled up together and reading. However it quickly became a new experience. 

"Kashi?" I asked lightly, putting my book on the floor beside the couch. "Yes?" He asked looking up and I found myself staring at his very handsome face. His narrow features were defined in a way that was breath taking and the mole on his face was also eye catching, making him a rare beauty. I had never asked him why he wore a mask when he was so handsome because I already knew it was because he didn't want the attention his face would draw. "You didn't ask me how long I've loved you." I stated and he gave me an amused look. "How long?" He asked and I smiled. I've been thinking about this since we broke apart earlier. "I think it was like you said. I knew the first time I saw you. When I approached you with Minato-Sensei the first day we met I couldn't help but feel captivated by you. There was something about you that just drew me in. I was so young and I didn't have a name for it yet but I knew I had to stick around to find out. I've been in denial but looking back I think the first sign I saw was the night after Minato-Sensei and Kushina's wedding." I paused fondly to think about that day: 

"Headed home?" I turned to see Kakashi jogging to catch up. I instantly stopped to let him fall into step with me. "Yeah." I responded with a smile even though he can't see it. "I like your new mask." He said after a second and I smiled again. "Thanks, Kushina made it for me after Minato-sensei mentioned my old one was getting too small. Also this one matched the outfit better." I said gesturing to myself. I was wearing the dress she had picked out, a pair of wedge heeled brown sandals, and several loose leather necklaces, each with a flower of some type on it. Kushina had also placed a crown of braided pink, blue, and white flowers in my hair. The whole wedding had been exactly what I expected. Just a ceremony with two people who are clearly soul mates surrounded by their loved ones. It was casual, relaxed, and suited them perfectly. Even though it's uncommon for a Kage to get married in such a way, it was beautiful and showed how natural it was for them to be together. "Do you think you'll ever get married?" I asked as we walked back. Just taking our time, in no particular rush. "I think so. Maybe if I found the right person." He said after a while and I looked over at him. "How will you know when you've found the right person?" I asked and he shrugged. "Look at Minato-sensei and Kushina-san. They are more than just a couple. They are a team, a single unit together. Minato-sensei told me this morning that he didn't know where he would be without her. He said 'I'm not worried about ever being alone again. If Kushina leaves this world you know that I will be right behind her. She's my soul mate and losing her would be like losing my own soul.'" I couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes at that. "Yes, I believe Kushina said that after today she will never have to seee another day without him." 

"To answer your question, I am actually terrified that the day I find the right person is the day I realize my soul is gone with them when they die." He said and I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness in my soul. "But maybe that's the point?" I mused after a minute. "Maybe it's the moment when you realize that you might lose them that you appreciate them more." I said and then shook my head. "Or maybe it's true that we are just blind to what is in front of us until they are gone. Maybe the secret to finding your soulmate is just opening your eyes." I said and suddenly Kushina's words the day we picked out my dress came to mind. Suddenly, I was looking at Kakashi in a new light. I admired him as we spoke on lighter topics the rest of the way home and suddenly it was so overwhelmingly true that every part inside me ached for him. I was suddenly aware that I would love to wake up one day and realize I would never be alone again. But at the same time came the realization that I am still so young. 'It's just a crush, a phase' I chided myself but, somehow I knew that was wrong. 

"I was right that day." Kakashi said snapping me out of my thoughts. "I was right when I said it would take me losing you to finally understand that you have always been it for me. Since the day we locked eyes, part of me knew that you were going to change my life, change me, forever." Kakashi said and I grabbed his chin in my hand and pulled his lips to mine. Our lips met with such need that you would think we couldn't breathe when they were apart. We agreed that first thing tomorrow morning we would go to the Hokage's office together and I would recount our mission in detail but, today we wanted the day to ourselves. The sun was just begining to rise when we had went on our walk, which is the only decent time for a walk this time of year given the heat. So after a while I made us an early lunch seeing as we had skipped breakfast. I had taken a shower and now my hair, now just past my shoulder blades was braided down my back leaving a wet patch on Kakashi's shirt that I have claimed as my own. Kakashi was helping me as I made us some home made ramen, his favorite. Though I use the term 'helping' lightly seeing as he mostly just picked on me like usual but also stole quite a few kisses when he got the chance. 

Knock. Knock. I looked up towards our door and sighed. Of course one day is too much to ask around here. I placed my mask on, Kakashi doing the same as I turned the stove off. "Just pour us a couple bowls and I'll see who it is." I said and washed my hands quickly, drying them off on a towel as I answered the door. "You've really grown up, kid." I couldn't help the smile that formed as I greeted the white haired sannin in front of me. "So have you, old man. Have you gained weight?" I teased and he acted like he I had physically injured him. "You hurt me, kid. You were calling me gramps the last time I saw you, what happened to that?"