Minutes to Midnight

Given Up (Chapter 2)

   "I've given up. I'm sick of feeling, is there nothing you can say? Take this all away."  

Shay's POV//

The motor home door swung open to reveal that it was Ryan's older sister Emma and her baby Louie. Whew thank goodness I thought. I stood up to go greet them, so I set the curling iron down on the mat since it was still not heating up. I'm so glad that they got to come down here for the race and to support Ryan. Emma had Louie dressed up just like his Uncle Ryan in his vintage racing t-shirt and a little pair of pants with some Converse shoes, he looked so precious. With Emma being here and Whitney being here as well we can take pictures to promote the boutique! Ryan's mom Lisa, his dad Dave, and younger sister Erin then came through the door of the motor home all ready and excited for race day. I sat for a few minutes and then got up to go and finish my hair. 

Ryan's sisters Emma and Erin came into the bathroom where I was and they sat and talked to me while his parents Dave and Lisa played with baby Louie. Emma and Erin began asking me about what I thought about some of the other wives and girlfriends. "So what do you think about NASCAR wanting to do a big photo shoot with the wives and girlfriends of the drivers?" I responded back with "I think that it is a cool concept, and shows just how diverse that NASCAR really is." I finished my hair and looked back at the clock to see how much time I had left before I needed to head out for pictures. I had an hour to kill before I had to meet up with the other wives and girlfriends at the start/finish line of the track. Ryan came back to the motor home and said that NASCAR wanted the drivers to be in the pictures as well, so he had to get suited up in his fire suit. He was so excited to see his family and his nephew the only thing he was missing was Sturgil who was back at home in Mooresville. 

Ryan got changed and then we headed out to the track where the other drivers and their wives and girlfriends were. Ryan's family also walked out with us because his sister Emma wanted to get pictures of us to post on the boutiques social media pages. When we got there I was engulfed in a hug from Whitney even though we had practically seen each other not even a day ago. We all then went around and said our "hellos" to the other couples before it was time to start. 

                               ***skips to the race***

I stood by Ryan for the National Anthem and the prayer afterwards before he had to hop in his car. We hugged each other and then he gave me a quick kiss before he got in his car, after he got in I leaned in and told him to be careful and that I loved him. He said he would "be careful, he loved me, and that he would see me in victory lane." Ugh this boy..he makes me so giddy. They gave the invocation and then the race began. He was starting in 14th just outside the top 10 but I know that he has something up his sleeves. Daytona was a race that no matter who you are will always be one where you have to be worried until the end of the race just because its a super big track that is known to cause "the big one." I sat up in Ryan's pit box with his family and we all had on our special headphones so we could listen to his scanner. 

I had Ryan's nephew Louie sitting on my lap as we were watching the race. I couldn't believe that he was reaching out to me and wanted to sit on my lap. He was too cute and you know I can't say no to him. The race was already 100 laps in and seemed that everybody was running pretty smoothly. Next thing I know Ryan was passing people left and right and was leading the pack. I stood up excitedly and bounced Louie as we were cheering for Ryan and his "Uncle Ry Ry." It was so funny hearing how excited that Ryan got on the scanner when he began leading the race. Ryan's family knows how he gets on the scanner so they opted out of getting the scanner headphones for Louie and gave him just a pair of noise cancelling ones like Piper Harvick and Brexton Busch had on. 

Ryan lead a total of 13 laps before he had to stop to refuel and to change to a new set of tires. He gained some momentum and was gaining on some of the slower drivers trying to put himself back up into the middle. Around lap 190 things started to go South and the dreaded "big one" happened. I was so nervous and began freaking out when we saw that the number 12 was involved after he was having such a fantastic day. A total of 10 cars were involved in the pile up. Ryan's family and I waited and waited until we heard him on the scanner saying that he was okay. After hearing him say that I let out a breath I didn't realize that I had been holding. We all made our way down the steps of the pit box and towards the Infield Care Center where every driver involved was going for further evaluation. Once we got to the Infield Care Center we waited until Ryan came out to us and we saw that he had a few scrapes and bruises but nothing too serious thank goodness. 

He did an interview with NASCAR'S media before we began to head back to the motor home. Ryan's family stayed for 30 minutes to an hour before leaving to head back to their hotels. They wanted Ryan to get some rest and take it easy since he was a little sore from being in the accident. Ryan and I sat on the couch and cuddled, he had his arms wrapped around my waist and was laying with his head on my chest. I knew something was up with him. I looked down at him and asked "what was on his mind?" He responded back with "I feel like I disappointed y'all today. "I've given up. I'm sick of feeling, is there nothing you can say? Take this all away." 

I held him tighter to me and began to calm him down and to reassure him that everything was gonna be alright. "You are the strongest person that I know and this is only the first race of the season. You have plenty more races that you can win. It's not like this is Homestead Miami that we are talking about, we are only at the 500. He stopped his sniffling and looked up at me, his heart rate became slower so I knew that he was calming down. He told me that "He wouldn't want anyone else to comfort him after a bad race or bad wreck. I always knew what to say that would calm him down, and that would make him feel like he was the luckiest man in the world." He promised to not give up and that this was only the beginning of what would be a fantastic race season.