Summer With A Chance Of Love

chapter 16: just heal me with your touch

When I woke up from the car trip. We were at the hotel as Angie grabbed her bags from the car. She ran inside the hotel. I looked at Justin as he looked back at me and just shrugged at me. For the second that I looked at the hotel, I wanted to cringe because this was the place that I found out that I had feelings for Noah. If this was me three years ago I think that I would be freaking the fuck out. Plus on top of that want to romanticize all these memories or now I just call them my old feelings but  This is not about who I was back then. This is now about me trying to get healed from the pain that I feel that is inside of me. It was like there was a war that was going on inside of me. I wanted this pain to leave me to leave my body. As we walked into the hotel Angie was already getting the rooms set back up for us. 

"Okay as requested there is a three-bedroom hotel room so meaning that I and Justin get our room you get your Noah and johnny you get your own too," Angie said to us as I smiled at her. As I saw that Noah looked at me. For some strange reason, I didn't know what to think about it. When we got to the room and I got to my room I fell straight into my bed. Everything that was inside of my body was wanting to sleep. Three nights without sleep really can kill a person. I just kept looking at the text that Taylor sent me to see you tonight everything that ran inside of my body wanted to scream with happiness that he was going to be here. Before I could stop myself my eyes grew sleepy again. Before I knew it was back asleep. Before I could think I heard a door knock. 

"Yes," I said to the person that was outside of my room. 

"It's me um Noah," he said through the door. Suddenly my heart wanted to skip a beat. I looked at the door and wanted to start to choose if I wanted to let him in or not. "Can I come in?" I looked at the door and wanted to know if I should or not. Then it hit me with what Angie said to me. I need to find some kind of common ground with him. As much as I hated to sit here and talk with someone like him right now I just swallowed. My pride for a moment to just deal with it. 

"Come on in," I said to him as he opened the door and I looked at him. 

"Can we talk without you biting off my head for a second," he said to me as he looked at me. I wanted to tell him no. instead, I just stayed silent. "I guess that means yes looked I have no idea what he was actually going to do that to you, and I had no idea that you were going to do what you did, if I would have known that it happened I would have tried to something more" he said to me as I looked at him and I could sense that he was telling the truth, but even the fucking truth hurt like a mother fucker. The fire that he just set into me was just growing inside of me. It was just growing and growing with each word that he just said to me. 

"Yeah like, what would you do Noah? Beat him? Be my fucking guest I just want to forget it but I can't because it's still ongoing!" I snapped at him "do you think that saying sorry is what I need? Do you think that saying sorry is going to fucking help?! Noah, I still wish that I can go back to that day and make sure that I could stay in that fucking coma so that I would not deal with this fucking pain that you YOU! Helped on" my words were packing a punch as my tears were coming down my wishing that I could sit here and just forget it. "This is my only escape for the weekend for I have to go back to that at my house before I have to deal with it all over aga-" the tears and the pain I was feeling was just starting to become overwhelming to me. I never let anyone see me cry. There have only been three people that have seen me cry. Three now four. I wanted to push Noah far away but at the same time, I wanted him to be close to me. I looked at him. As he looked at me as he saw the pain that I was in and just pulled me into a hug. He squeezed tightly on me. The second he did my mind didn't know how to react. My eyes were widened and filled with the tears that I've been holding back for the longest. Before I could push away he started to talk.

"I know I wish I could forget it all to johnny but" he stopped before I could realize that he what was doing. I noticed that there were tears that was coming from him "I wish that I could have stopped it, I wished that I could have beaten the shit out of him i wish that i could heal you the way that you need i wish that i could give you a better place than where you are now I hate myself because I allowed someone to have to force themselves onto you and to know that they are still doing makes me sick to my stomach" he said to me as his tears started to fill up his eyes "so I promise you this johnny i know that you don't trust me and I can handle that because of what I did to you so im gonna make this promise to you that no matter what happens, even if he does it thirty million times that you need to be strong and if you can't please for the love of god don't end your life because of it because I don't think I could lose someone that I have fallen in love with so much" i looked back at him for a second he loves me? I wanted to look at him before I could say anything more. I just let the hug comfort me. As the night went on me and my friends were all around the couch when I heard a knock at the door and I suddenly knew that it was Taylor. My heart was fluttering with excitement. As I opened the door and saw Taylor standing there. Taylor did come. I don't know what came over myself. When I saw him standing there all awkwardly. My heart was beating so fast it was like I should be able to do this, I should be able to heal from the pain that I've felt from what happened.