What's wrong?

Podcast

I'm awoken the next morning by Raymond being loud
"It's too early for this" I whine an Lift my head to see him styling my blonde wig and a light blue dress hanging on the wall hook
"Get up an shower please then get dressed and do light makeup then we have the podcast then the wedding" he says
I yawn an switch to the canual and get up heading to the bathroomi take off my oxygen machine as I turn on the water for the shower looking over my frail body in the mirror as I wait for the shower to heat up I look pathetic my face looks swollen from the chemo an pregnancy I'm not completely thin by any means but I just look weak I turn to the side admiring where my baby bump will be sooner rather than later I look wierd without hair but I kinda dig it I should just wear a Bennie to the podcast put on my hair after I skip in the shower an let the warm water run over my chubby yet frail frame an slowly wash myself then turn off the water and grab the closet towel to me I dry off slowly an then sit on the chair in the bathroom to do my makeup then I go to the bedroom slipping on the clothes an wedges he put out for me I put on my black trench coat and go to put on a Bennie but Raymond stops me
"Hair first than Bennie" he says
"But the whole world knows I'm bald I can save the hair for the wedding" I try
"Hair first then Bennie" he says again
"Fine" I pout then put the wig on then my favorite black Bennie I grab my phone and my purse and Raymond gets sugar ready to go soon we're headed towards the elevator an we reach the main rooms an my mom hands me a hot coffee and a doughnut
"Don't worry it's peppermint mocha it may be summer here but it's cold so I found a place wirh it oh and the podcast is with gabbie Hannah she's doing a special since she came to New York with Irene Irene is there too right place right time they will ask you about the book chemo the funeral and YouTube" my mom says an I nod sipping my coffee it's strangely cold in new York for summer but it's still kinda spring we get in the black ranger over that's outside and head to the podcast location soon we arrive and we get out I hold sugars leash and my coffee while Raymond carries my purse we walk towards the building and as we enter I see gabbie
"Gabbie love how are you" I say hugging her
"I'm great how are you doing" she says hugging me back
"As well as I can be hi Irene" I say hugging her as well we exchange pleasentre an head to the podcast room gabbie is renting for today raymond comes with me while my mom waits out in the waiting room
We get set up and gabbie does her intro an starts
"So today we have miss kat the princess of YouTube and queen of chemo so kat how are you today" gabbie says
"I'm as good as I can be gabbie than you for having me on here today" I say smiling knowing she's filming as well
"That's great so let's dive in to some tea I heard" gabbie says grabbing her notes
"I heard your pregnant" gabbie says
"I am I am I'm a few weeks along my husband and I were trying before the accident it was tragic what happened but at least I have a part of him to come with me as I continue his memory and move to the next chapter in my life" I say
"Aw well you know if you need anything girl I got you" she says smiling
"Aww thank you gabbie that means the world" I say smiling softly
"So I heard you just realised a book" Irene says
"I did it's called angel baby it's about pregnancy when your young an just how my experience went and everything and ways I've coped with the miscarriage and loss of my little girl" I say
"Aww that's so sweet I'll definitely have to go pick it up sometime" gabbie says
"Oh no need Raymond my purse please" I say he hands me my purse and I pull out 2 coppies of my book and hand one to Irene an one to gabbie
"Oh my god this book feels amazing" Irene says in shock
"Woah yeah it feels so soft what material did you use" gabbie asks
"I think it's a fake leather" I say
"Well now that we have discussed your book an your baby how is chemo going are you still doing it while your pregnant" gabbie asks
"Yes I am chemo is going fine we're on a tiny break while I'm in New York when I go to la tomorrow we will resume chemo but my doctor has decided against pain medications due to my pregnancy so he has me on cannabis for the pain and to manage my adhd anxiety and several of my issues" I say
"Wait but you're on a breathing machine so do you only do edibles" gabbie asks
"I mostly do edibles but I can smoke it if I need to I just have to turn off my oxygen machine before I light it" I say
"So is Cannabis good for the baby" Irene asks
"It's better than the pain medications I would've been on they can cause a lot of issues later on an cause the baby to need detox" I say
"Woahhhh" gabbie says
"Yeah it's wild" I say
"So who's the Raymond guy that's now in your life" Irene asks
"Raymond is a family friend who I grew up with he has a degree as a nurse and as a teacher so he's helping me out majorly while I go through chemo by taking care of me and helping me with my elementary school class I will be teaching this upcoming year" I say smiling brightly
"So are there any feelings there" gabbie asks
"I uh I i don't know Hes known me since we were little" I say blushing
"There are feelings just waiting till she loves me back" Raymond says from the corner as he eats some M&M'S from my bag
"Hey give me my m&ms" I say pouting
"I'll buy you more later" he says shrugging
Gabbie falls over laughing at this
"Woah seems like there's some tension in the air" Irene says
"I've loved her since we were in like 8th grade well she was but I was 3 years ahead" Raymond says
"You jumped grades" gabbie asks
"Yeah I got bored quickly so i jumped a few grades got 2 college degrees and now I work with Kat side by side" Raymond says
"Woah" Irene says
"So you could be doing anything else but instead your helping the person you've been in love with for years since she's sick" gabbie asks
"Yep" Raymond says popping more M&M'S in his mouth
"He's stealing my m&ms is what He is doing" I say bluntly
"So what's in store next for you kat" gabbie asks
"Well I'll be teaching at a private school this year my classroom is allready set up we've got a couple weeks till school starts theres thoughts of opening a cafe" I say
Soon we're done with the podcast and piling into the car headwind to the chapel we will meet Irene there but gabbie doesn't know yet see irenes father is Raymond's dads brother so raymond an Irene are cousins and Irene is technically part of the mafia but she tries to stay out of it she's just a watch dog now soon we're pulling up to the church and as I get out I see