Season Three Inspired Oneshots~

~29~

The Girl In The Woods

Out of everyone in the world she stood out. Literally. In bright yellow, standing there in the rain. It was a shock for me and my friends.

And yet, something about her was immediately special to me. Immediately I felt connected to her. Like for some reason, she was the solution. I know that sounds stupid. But in the end it's how I feel for her.

By instinct I took her in, and although I'd like to think I saved her from people trying to hurt her, I think back. And she saved me.

She saved my life as much as I saved hers. When it felt hopeless, all of a sudden she was just there. There to save me. To tell me it was okay, to hug me. Somebody to love me.

Have you ever felt like something was obscuring your breathing? Like there was a weight on your lungs, stopping you from taking in a deep breath? That's how it feels when I'm away from her. How it feels when she's away. And when I can tell that she's in evident danger it feels like I can't breathe at all. Like I'm drowning, and no matter how hard I try to get to the surface I'll never get there unless she's safe.

And even though I can't dance, even though I can't sing, I still did both for her. Because I wanted to see her smile, to see her laugh. Her laughter is music to my ears, and all I want is to see her smile. That's the one thing in the entire world I want.

I don't need money, I don't need fame. I could be a homeless man for all I care, but everything means nothing if I can't have her.

And when she's in pain it feels like my walls are caving in. I just want to take away her pain, to release the pain. To take her pain for myself.

If I have to I'll get hit, I'll get cut, I'll get hurt in general, as long as she's okay. I'd do anything for her.

Recently being happy is so difficult because she's so far away. And I get so scared that she's gonna leave me forever.

And then I think back to when we met. I think back to our first kiss, and to our last. I think of our first I love you's, the Snowball. Listening to REO Speedwagon and Starship, and of course, Corey Hart.

There's nobody I'd rather share my first kiss with. Nobody I'd rather have as my best friend. Nobody I'd rather love.

And being me, I admitted my love too soon, and in front of my sister and my friends no less. Sure, it was embarrassing, and trying to explain it to her was even more embarrassing. But it was worth it.

In the end she heard it to begin with. And she said it back.

She said it back. And even now I can tell she meant it. Through all of the laughter, through everything, she meant it. And seriously.

A love that'll last longer than a 3 month middle school relationship. A love that'll carry. A love that'll last.

I've found somebody to love. Somebody who'll love me for me.

And there have been so many times where I've felt like I've been drowning and I should stop trying to swim for the surface. That I should just sink to the very depths, to the dark. That I should just drown.

But I've prevailed. And in the end, I always get pulled up out of the water. Like she reaches in, and pulls me out when I need to be pulled to the air.

She's the air that I breathe. She's my pain reliever. My medicine. She relieves my pain.

And even if she's miles and miles away I know that she's still there. That if I call her then she's going to pick up. And that she'll tell me that she loves me before hanging up.

I also know that she dots her i's with hearts, but only in our letters. And that she always signs her name with a heart at the end. I know that every I love you means something. That every hug, every kiss, everything means something.

And even if I sit around feeling absolutely numb, like the world lacks colour, the second I see her, or hear her speak or laugh, all the colour comes back even brighter.

All of a sudden the sunflowers in my kitchen are even brighter, the sky even bluer. Everything is beautiful, but nothing is more beautiful than her. Nothing is more beautiful than her smile. Nothing is more beautiful than the sound of her voice when she talks.

And I miss that smile. I want nothing more than to see that smile every single day. And for months I had that. But I screwed it up. Just like everything else.

But when I'm with her I forget all my insecurities. I forget all the bad. And all I see is her. Everything else is out of focus. Everything else has gone blurry and she's even more vivid.

And I see every part of her, her short brown hair, blonding. Her big brown eyes, shining with a glimmer of hope that to this day has never burnt out, no matter the circumstances. Her wrinkly flannels, her big smiles.

And I love who she is. I love her and everything that comes with her. I love that she feels free enough to smile, even though all the things she's gone through are so difficult and traumatic. If it were me, I'd break down. Most people would. Most people would never, ever smile again.

But she does. With her friends. She makes me smile. There are times where I feel so down, and I can't smile. But I call her, and the second I hear her voice I grin. Sure, my sister and friends make fun of me but that doesn't matter. She's what matters.

In the end she'll always be my everything. No matter how she feels about me I'll always feel the same about her. I'll always be deeply in love with her, and unafraid to say it.

Well, a little afraid to say it, but you get the gist.

happy mileven day i made myself cry