The guy who stole my heart [EDITING]

Chapter 2- Part 36

I drove my car as fast as I could without minding the speed limit. I don't care what's going to me. I don't care if I will get a car accident. I don't care if I will lose my life today.

Mas maganda pa ang mawalan ng buhay kaysa sa kontrolado ng iba ang buhay mo.

Kenneth suddenly called and I just shrugged my phone and started to cry. Ang bata bata ko pa sa ganito. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kakayanin.

Bakit ba parati nilang kinocontrol ang buhay ko? Hindi naman nila ito pag mamay ari ah? Kung gusto nilang magkaroon ako ng magandang kinabukasan, pwede ko naman itong pagbanatan ng buto. Bakit kailangan pa mapunta sa ganito?

Unti unti ng tumulo ang luha ko, sunod sunod na ang pag ingay ng telepono ko pero patuloy parin ako sa pagmaneho hanggang sa makaabot ako sa isang malawak na kabukiran.

Hininto ko ang kotse ko atsaka agad na pinulot ang telepono kong nahulog sa kadahilanan ng pagmaneho ko nang kay sobrang bilis.

Sunod sunod ang tawag ni Kenneth, ni Papa at ni Mama, ni Kuya Isaac at Kuya Mark at ni Julia. Please, huwag niyo muna akong gambalain kahit ngayong araw lang.

Lumabas ako sa kotse at naglakad patungo sa isang upuan malapit sa isang pond na puno ng lily flowers. Pinagmasdan ko lang ang kulay bughaw na tubig at ang mga isdang lumalangoy  habang nakaupo sa pahabang upuan.

"Hindi niyo man lang ako sinabihan na ganito pala ang kinahahantungan ng buhay ko. Oh edi sana hindi nalang ako nagpursigi mag aral. I hate this life. I hate being manipulated. I hate everything."

Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko man lang madescribe kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko man lang maramdaman ang tunay na sigaw ng puso at isip ko. It's like my heart and minr were also being controlled by people whom I love the most, my family.

I read the message of my kuya Isaac and it said: "Meghan, I know sobrang padalos dalos nila Mama at Papa magdesisyon. Kuya Mark and even I don't agree with this arranged marriaged shit kasi alam kong hindi ka doon magiging masaya. You were still so young with this and I know andami mo pang opportunities and time para maenjoy yung oras mo and gawin ang mga gusto mong gawin pero there's nothing I can do about it. We tried to defend you after you walked out but Dad's decision is really final. He really wants you to marry this guy...whom I DONT EVEN KNOW PERSONALLY. You know how much I hate seeing you with the other guys except Kenneth because I know that we still dont know their intention and their personality and on how they will treat you but crap this shit, I don't know anymore Meghan. I hope you will come home tonight. Baka may ipapadala si Papa na mga police for roaming just to find you so please go home early. I know that this thing might affect you big time but please hear me out.....kuya Mark and I will do our best just to cancel this bullcrap. Love you baby sis."

I started to cry like a pure baby. I hate this. Minsan lang ako pagsalitaan ng ganito ni Kuya Isaac and the fact that he knows what I'm feeling right now makes me want to cry even more. I hate this so much. Baka sila kuya pa ang pagalitan just to defend me. I hate this so much. Fuck.

I read the message of Kenneth and it said: "Please answer my call. Where are you now really? Yung papa mo e galit na galit sa akin kesyo daw baka magkasama daw tayo at tinalik daw kita. Asan ka please? Please Meghan, answer me. May hindi ba kayo napagkasunduan ng parents mo and you tried to leave your house? Please tell me what happened. Tell me where you are and I will come to you. Hindi ko gustong isipin na umiiyak ka dyan or sad ka tapos wala man ako dyan sa tabi mo para icomfort ka. Please Meghan, answer this message. I love you so much. Remember that."

"I love you too so much but I still want to be alone, Kenneth. I am so sorry." I whispered to myself.

Bakit ganito pa ang nangyayari sa buhay ko? Dad will do everything to make me happy but this one makes me so sad and angry at the same time. Bakit ganito? Bakit ngayon pa na may mahal na ako? Bakit ngayon pa na sobrang hirap na bitawan ang buhay na nakasanayan ko?