Wrong

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⚠ Talk about suicide ⚠

*Stan's POV*

"Is h-he going to w-wake up soon?" I heard Bill ask.

"We're not sure," an unfamiliar voice sighed. "Stanley lost a lot of blood and his cuts were very severe. We're unaware of when he'll wake up."

I'm already awake, bitch. My eyes may not be open, but I'm still awake, I'm still here. Why don't they know that?

"O-ok...can I have a m-minute alone with h-him?"

I couldn't see the stranger's response, but I could hear footsteps walking away. Bill sighed shakily and his hand moved into mine.

"H-hi Stan... I don't kn-know if you c-can hear me right n-now. But I'm h-here."

Little drops of water fell onto my hand and Bill sniffled.

"I'm s-sorry I wasn't th-there when you needed m-me. I l-love you s-so much, Stan. And I don't kn-know what I would d-do without y-you."

I felt bad that Bill was crying about what I did. I wish I had died, then he wouldn't have to be here right now.

"You've b-been in the hospital f-for a while, almost a w-week. I basically m-moved in here," he laughed grimly.

"S-so I had to grab my cl-clothes from our house and...I f-found the ring. The L-Losers told me everything. I w-wear it all the t-time, it's so beautiful. And o-of course I'll marry you, Stanley Uris. Y-you're the light of m-my life."

All I want to do is wake up. Hug Bill and cuddle and watch a movie and have him tell me that everything will be ok. But I can't force my eyes open.

"B-Bev and Eddie and M-Mike are in th-the waiting room. Ben and R-Richie have work, b-but they're coming later. And th-there's some girls hanging out w-with them, Emily and R-Ruby."

Bill gripped my hand harder as I heard someone walk into the room.

"You have to leave," That man from before was back. MAJOR buzz kill. "We need to check Stanley's blood levels, but you can come back in a little while."

"O-oh, ok... I love y-you Stan," Bill kissed my forehead and I could feel the tears on his cheeks. "I'll b-be back soon."

The doctor poked and prodded me for a little while and I still couldn't open my eyes. After what seemed like HOURS, I finally heard my friends come back in.

"Everyone's h-here now, Stan." Bill said and held my hand again.

"Can he hear us?" I heard Eddie ask quietly.

"I'm n-not sure, but I t-talk to him anyways. J-just in case."

"Hey Stan the Man..." Richie said and I heard him move closer to me. "If you can hear us, we want you to know how incredible you are, ok? I'm just so fucking happy that Bev found you."

Great going, Bev. I really wanted to die, but nOoOooO! You had to go and save me.

"I just wanted a sandwich," Bev laughed. "I just wanted some fucking sliced turkey."

"The turkey saved Stan." Ben giggled.

Curse that turkey.

"You know Richie, I didn't think anyone could get paler than you," Mike chuckled. "But look at Stan!"

"F...fuck you..." I managed to mutter out.

"St-Stan?! Honey, are y-you awake?" Bill asked frantically as all of the laughter in the room stopped.

"Unfortunately," I muttered and squinted my eyes open. "Hey guys."

Relief filled their eyes and Bill wrapped me in a huge hug. I could feel him shaking and crying and guilt washed over me. Why does he even care this much about me?

"Could y-you hear anything?"  Bill moved back and asked. I nodded slowly.

"Everything from today. So you'll do me the honor of becoming my husband?"

"Of c-course Stan!" Bill smiled and tears kept streaming down his face.

"Stan, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you that day. I knew you weren't feeling great, but I left," Eddie mumbled. "God, this is all my fault, I'm so so sorry..."

"Eddie. It's not your fault." I said sternly. "I was going to do it eventually, whether you left early or not."

Eddie nodded a little, but he kept looking at the ground. Richie put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close.

Suddenly, Bill wrapped his arms around me again.

"I'm j-just so happy y-you're awake," he mumbled into my shoulder. "I swear, m-my heart dropped wh-when Bev called me."

Everyone muttered their 'same' or 'me too'.

"Can I get a minute alone with Stan?" Bev asked quietly.

"Y-yeah, everyone should g-get some one-on-one t-time. That's o-ok, right?"

I nodded and all the Losers except Bev left.

"Hey..." I mumbled, refusing to look her in the eyes.

"Stan," Bev sat down next to me and I felt her staring at me. "What if I wasn't awake? What if I didn't want a sandwich, so I didn't go to your house? What if you had bled out and nobody knew until morning?"

"I-I don't know Bev."

"What if I lost my best friend?" Bev's voice cracked and I finally looked up at her. She was crying and her eyes were red and puffy. "Richie is my smoking buddy, Eddie is my trauma buddy, Ben is my boyfriend, Bill is my ex boyfriend who laughs with me about when we dated, Mike is my study buddy. But you? You're the one I turn to when things get bad, Stan. You're the Loser I trust the most."

"Well, why can't I be your trauma buddy too?" I asked quietly.

"Eddie and I were both abused. That's the 'trauma' part of 'trauma buddy'."

"I was abused too..." I said softly.

I didn't tell anyone but Bill. I didn't think the Losers would care. But maybe Bev does. Maybe that's something Eddie, Bev and I could bond over.

"What? I swear, I'mma go beat up Bill." She growled and stood up quickly.

"N-no, not him. My dad."

"Oh..." Bev whispered and moved towards me. "Stan, I'm so sorry. You and Eddie can both be my trauma buddies."

"Thanks," I laughed dryly and she pulled me into a hug.

"I'll go send the next Loser in." Bev said and walked out the door.