One Last Chance |6| The Ascension

Chapter Twenty-Three: Robot of Sherwood

Fun piece of trivia I stumbled across while writing this: the guy playing Alan-a-Dale in this episode is Ian Hallard, also known as the husband of Mark Gatiss, who wrote the episode!

~~~

"Take a punt," the Doctor suggested, scribbling some mathematical equations onto a blackboard on the gallery.

"Right," Clara agreed from where she was sitting on the jump seat.

"Your choice," McKenzie added, eating a spoonful of yoghurt straight from the carton. "Wherever, whenever, anywhere in time and space."

Clara hesitated, a smile playing around on her lips. "Well, there is something, someone that I've always wanted to meet. But I know what you'll say."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Try me."

"You'll say he's made up, that there is no such thing," Clara predicted.

"Go on."

"It's..." She grinned. "It's Robin Hood."

"Robin Hood?" Wanda echoed, confused.

"My mum used to read that to me," McKenzie remembered fondly.

"Mine too," Clara enthused. "I love that story! I've always loved it, ever since I was little."

"Robin Hood," the Doctor sighed. "The heroic outlaw who robs from the rich and gives to the poor."

"Yep," Clara grinned.

The Doctor gave her a look. "He's made up. There's no such thing."

"Ah, you see?" Clara pouted. "Told you so."

"Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned storybooks, Clara," the Doctor told her.

"Well, what about you two?" Wanda asked.

McKenzie blinked. "Us?"

Wanda shrugged. "Yeah, you. You stop bad things happening every minute of every day. That sounds pretty heroic to me."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, stealing his wife's spoon and licking the yoghurt off it. "Just passing the time. Hey, what about Mars?"

"What?" Clara asked, her eyes widening.

"The Ice Warrior Hives," the Doctor continued.

She rolled her eyes. "You said it was my choice!"

"Or the Tumescent Arrows of the Half-Light," he went on, ignoring her as he headed down to the console. "Those girls can hold their drink."

"Doctor," Wanda complained.

"And fracture fifteen different levels of reality simultaneously. I think I've got a Polaroid somewhere." The Doctor hesitated, coming face to face with McKenzie. "Speaking of girls who can really hold their drink." She raised her eyebrows pointedly, cutting her gaze across to Clara, and he sighed. "Fine." He started typing in the coordinates. "Earth. England. Sherwood Forest. 1190AD, ish." He threw the dematerialisation lever, shaking his head at Clara. "But you'll only be disappointed."

***

The TARDIS materialised in a picturesque meadow, not far from a stream. The birds were singing in the trees nearby, and there was no one to be seen, least of all a hooded rogue. "There," the Doctor said, stepping out. "No damsels in distress, no pretty castles, no such thing as Robin Hood." Immediately, an arrow thunked into the side of the TARDIS.