One Last Chance |6| The Ascension

Chapter Twenty-Two: It's a Love-Hate Relationship

"So, you and Danny are going for a drink at the weekend?" Wanda noticed, peering at Clara's calendar. The teacher had come home from Cathy's leaving party to find the Avenger watching TV on her sofa, waiting for her.

"Yeah, just making friends," Clara replied. She hesitated. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not," Wanda assured her. "He's new, he'll be very grateful to you for making the effort."

Clara snorted. "Hopefully not too grateful."

"He does know it is just a friendly thing, right?" Wanda checked. "Because when asking someone out for a drink, some people mean 'will you come and consume a liquid beverage in my company' and others mean 'will you come and flirt with me in the presence of some alcohol', you know?"

"I think so," Clara said hesitantly. "Maybe I'll casually mention you. That way, he'll know, right?"

"Won't he wonder why I never show up to people's leaving parties?" Wanda frowned.

Clara shook her head. "Nah. I'll tell him you're a time-travelling mutant superhero. That usually does the trick."

"Ha ha," Wanda rolled her eyes.

***

The night sky was one of his favourite sights. There was a calming effect to drifting through space, watching the lights come on across the planet below. It was where he came to think.

So naturally, it wasn't long before McKenzie found him.

"Got you a cuppa," she said softly, offering him one of two on a tray.

He accepted it with a small smile. "Thanks."

She settled down in the doorway beside him, blowing gently on her tea. "You're still thinking about it, aren't you? What Rusty said."

"How could I not? He looked into me, and he saw hatred." He shook his head, sighing. "I'm supposed to be better than that."

"You are," she implored. He scoffed. "Believe me, I know. So what if he saw hatred? You are so much more than that. You are love and faith and hope and beauty. You're the Doctor. That means something."

He swallowed. "I used to think that, too."

"I don't think it, I know it." She sighed. "Hatred... Hatred isn't inherently bad. It's silly and it's not fun, and it's not ideal, but it is valid. It's a natural consequence of trauma, like anger, like fear, like doubt. What matters is that every day you choose love instead."

"Kez, I don't..." He faltered, struggling to find the words. "I'm not a hero."

"You saved me." Now her eyes were shining with tears. "Every time I fall, you're there to catch me. Even when—Even when Will died. When I hit rock bottom, I thought of you, and what you would do, and you... you were there. I don't care what the rest of the universe thinks. They don't know you like I do."

The Doctor bit his lip, shaking his head. "You're right. So tell me... how do I live like this?"

McKenzie met his eyes forcefully. "You remember that no matter how hard it gets, I will always have your back, I promise. It's called love. And if we keep our promises, to ourselves and to each other, we'll be alright in the end. We can survive anything, you and me. Even ourselves."

~~~