Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Caretaker and the Electrician

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On a day like (unfortunately) many, many others, the crew of the TARDIS found themselves chained to some really very ornately carved pillars in the middle of an alien desert under the unrelenting heat of twin suns. 

"There's no way out of this," Clara realised, groaning. "We're going to die here."

"Pass me the vibro-cutters," the Doctor requested. 

McKenzie closed her eyes, letting her head fall back against the pillar. "They're in my pocket." 

"Come on then, pass them to me." 

"In my jacket," she pointed out. "On the TARDIS." 

His eyes widened. "Well, why aren't you wearing it?!" 

"Because you said, and I quote—" She put on a Scottish accent. "'Oh, you won't need that, love, it'll be like a sauna out there, you might as well just leave it here'!" 

"Well, it is like a sauna," he said defensively. 

"Which is why I'm not wearing the jacket!" She took a deep breath. "Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I did have the vibro-cutters, I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters because I can't move my bloody hand in these chains!" 

Wanda sighed. "We're going to starve to death out here, aren't we?" 

"Of course we won't starve," the Doctor told her, hesitating. "The sand piranhas will get us long before that." 

***

"Hiya," Clara smiled, joining Danny at a table in a bar. "Sorry I'm late." 

He frowned. "You're... not. You're brown, you're very brown. You weren't that brown this morning." 

"Sunbed," she lied. "I'll get 'em in. Usual?" 

***

Clara was about to leave for a night out when the TARDIS materialised in her flat. "Fish people," the Doctor announced, popping his head out of the doors.

She tilted her head, intrigued. "What are they like?" 

"Fish... and people," he told her, beckoning. "Come and see." She followed him in. 

***

"How's you?" Clara asked later, getting into the back of a taxi where Danny was waiting. 

"Evening," he said, looking her up and down in confusion. She was soaked to the skin. "Nice frock, bit wet." 

"Freak shower," she excused. Something slipped out of her hair, and she threw it out of the window, wincing. 

Danny stared. "Was that seaweed?" 

She raised her eyebrows. "I did say freak."

***

"How much further?" Wanda demanded, ducking and throwing up a shield as a laser hit the wall near her head. 

"The TARDIS has got to be just round this corner," McKenzie cried, leading the way. 

"I hate soldiers," the Doctor complained. "Don't you hate soldiers?" 

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