One Last Chance |6| The Ascension

Chapter Thirty-Two: Will's Truth

"Not that it's any of my business, but I think you did the right thing," the Doctor said as Clara and Courtney returned to the console room in their school clothes.

"Yeah, you're right," Clara told him bluntly. "It's none of your business. Come on, Courtney, off you go. Double Geography."

"Can we do it again?" Courtney asked eagerly.

"Go!" Clara ordered, shepherding her out. "Chop, chop." The door swung shut behind Courtney and Clara turned to the Doctor, quietly furious. "Tell me what you knew."

The Doctor blinked. "Nothing. I told you, I've got grey areas."

"Yeah, I noticed." She shook her head, setting her jaw. "Tell me what you knew, Doctor, or else I'll smack you so hard you'll regenerate."

"Clara!" McKenzie said, her eyes wide. "I—"

"I knew that eggs are not bombs," the Doctor explained calmly. "I know they don't destroy their nests. Essentially, what I knew was that you would always make the best choice. I had faith that you would always make the right choice."

"Honestly, do you have music playing in your head when you say rubbish like that?" she demanded.

"It wasn't our decision to make," the Doctor said. "I told you."

"Well, why did you do it?" she asked. "Was it for Courtney, was that it?"

He hesitated. "Well, she really is something special now, isn't she? First woman on the moon, saved the Earth from itself and, rather bizarrely, she becomes the President of the United States. She met this bloke called Blinovitch—"

Clara made a noise of frustration. "Do you know what, shut up! I am so sick of listening to you!"

"Clara, please," Wanda tried. "Listen to him."

"I didn't do it for Courtney. I didn't know what was going to happen." The Doctor watched her carefully, warily. "Do you think I'm lying?"

"I don't know, I don't know," Clara sighed, breathing heavily. "If you didn't do it for her, I mean... Do you know what? It was, it was cheap, it was pathetic. No, no, no, it was patronising. That was you patting us on the back, saying you're big enough to go to the shops by yourself now. Go on, toddle along!"

"It really wasn't," McKenzie told her quietly.

"Then what the hell was it?" Clara demanded.

"Us, trusting you to step up and save the world because we couldn't." McKenzie sighed. "The date, on the moon. It was the anniversary of our son's death."

Clara hesitated, stunned. "I don't..."

"Has anyone ever told you how he died?" A tear spilled down her cheek, but she didn't seem to notice. "I was five months pregnant when Thanos came to Earth. We'd only just found out. He would have been our first together. Zosia and Zoë were created from one parent each, but Will... he was ours. For a moment, it was just us, watching him kick on the ultrasound. He was so beautiful."

The Doctor put his arms around her, holding her as she wept. "Then Thanos came, and we had no choice but to fight. And we lost. I died. Wanda died. And Pietro, and Zoë and Steve and half the universe. But not Kez. And not Will, either."

"For twenty-three days, we could do nothing. But Carol Danvers brought us a spaceship, brought Tony and Nebula back to Earth. Nebula told us where Thanos would be, so we went to find him." McKenzie took a deep, shaky breath. "When we got there, the stones were gone. Destroyed. And Thanos lashed out and hit me and—" She broke off for a second, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.

"Don't," Wanda told her, squeezing her hand. "You don't have to."

"No, it's okay," McKenzie told her. She looked up at Clara. "Thanos broke five of my ribs and shattered a sixth. Part of the bone lodged in the umbilical cord and severed it." She broke off into tears again, but this time she pushed through it. "Will suffocated inside me and there was nothing I could do. I had to give birth to him, knowing it was too late. He never got the chance to feel the sun on his back."

Clara was stunned. "I—I'm so sorry... I didn't know."

"So you can understand why, on the anniversary of his death, I couldn't make her stay there and discuss killing that baby," the Doctor finished gravely.

"Oh my God, I'm so stupid," Clara groaned. "I can't believe I didn't realise."

"I should have explained," the Doctor said gently. "I'm sorry. My first priority was getting Kez away from it."

McKenzie bit her trembling lip, holding her arm out towards Clara. "Come here." They hugged, squeezing each other so tight it was like they couldn't bear to let go. "Are we good?"

"Yeah," Clara assured her, closing her eyes in regret. "We're good."

~~~