Sands of Time

Recall

The smells of warm eggs and the slight spice going with a sweetnessand the banging and knocking of cooking slowly bringing me awake. Iallowed myself to stretch out, sitting up quickly checked my bandagesto see if anything was loose and tug it close. It rarely happened,the priests obviously having done a very good job preparing my bodyfor the next life. It was very different than what I had grown upbelieving that the next life would be like, but now I knew it wasfrom my mother, a gift despite how long it took to come. I would havegone through it all over again as many times I needed to to have mylove, Nerfert or Name, as long as I had her.

Standing I followed the sound and the small smell to the kitchen, itwasn't the first time that she made a breakfast that was not apungent smell, and I was curious what she was doing. There was a potshe was leaning over, there was something in the 'toaster' and therewas something sizzling in a pan. I took a moment just watching her,enjoying the quiet domesticity of it and couldn't help but feel proudthat she didn't have to worry about cleaning since I did that. Stillthere was so much I wasn't doing for her, but I at least was doingthe best I could at the moment.

She was so lost in what she was doing, happily ignorant of the worldaround her, and some deep part of me was happy to allow her to do so,to protect her, I know she was very safe, safer than she had beenduring our entire life together but the part of me that constantly atthe very least was whispering, and in times of danger screaming,precious, beloved, protect. The same it was for my family, myfriends, my parents, my sisters, mama-even if she by far was able toprotect herself, who could ever hurt or threaten the goddess ofdeath? Much less if she is more than a goddess of death but is trueDeath, but still it was there-and of course Nerfert and our children.And it is still there for me.

When I had watched her my fill, at least for this morning because Iwould always love this quiet domesticity and could spend my lifewatching her silently. "Good morning, Name." I smiled as shejumped the slightest bit before turning to see me as I leaned againstthe archway, her smile causing one on my own. I didn't like the factthat it I could feel my skin stretch as I smiled but I couldn't resitsmiling when I saw her.

"Morning sunshine," she greeted and though I didn't understandthe saying or what it would logically mean I understood it for thepet name that it was. It still made my heart warm whenever she calledme by that name, because though I loved her calling me by my name Ialso love hearing a pet name. Of course I was used to her calling meother pet names. When mama fully accepted her, I had barely reachedthe point where I had fully grown as far as my muscular build, when Ihad found her and felt more than a friendship for her.

I had waited so long to find this idea of love, Nephthys had to haveme meet with Hetor when I was younger, just coming into my manhood, Ihadn't understood the idea that I would, one day, find love. Nephthyshad assured me that it would be a while till then, to be patient,that it would happen to me one day. That one day I would be a father.I hadn't thought of that till then, and I waited but never had anyonepique my interests. Even as my best friend met many he cared for,some that returned his feelings, some who didn't, some who used himand some who feared he would use them, I heard stories of my sistersof their own loves and even the talks of two of them who were betweenthat time and me realizing what I was feeling for Nerfert.

I could still remember the strange feelings that confused me abouther. How I would always search her out if it had been too long sinceseeing her, if I saw her no matter what I was feeling-if I wasfeeling sad, frustrated, so tired I just wanted to lay on the plasterof the floor and just just shut my eyes-just seeing her made me feelbetter. The warmth I felt when I was with her was different than theone I got when around my loved ones, they were like a warmth that wassoft like the warmth you'd feel from candlelight, while with her itfelt almost hot, more like the cooking fire. For the longest time Inoticed the difference but didn't really ponder on it, every singlerelationship I had was different. My relationship with my oldestsister, my middle older sister, and my sister that is only two yearsolder than I was, a difference between my mother, my father, and mamawere all different; the fact that I had come to her instead of eitherof them or my sisters, or my friends.