Prologue

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It was dark but it was warm so I felt safe.

I put my hands in front of my face, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to see them — just to check if I was really here. Really hiding. Really holding my breath to feel the burn in my lungs until I finally took a deep breath of oxygen that made my whole body tingle. With my knees to my chest I repeated the same actions over and over: hold my breath, hold up my hands to see if they're visible, feel the burn, tingle.

It could have been hours or it could have been seconds that I sat on the floor of my closet in nothing but then bra and underwear I bought specifically for tonight, but I couldn't be sure. Time seemed to be moving in circles instead of in a straight line, flashbacks from the moments before that lead me in to my hiding spot. I could smell blood, smell the sweat coming from my body that were signs of a fight. Signs of a warrior that had been through a battle, signs of a survivor, but I knew I was none of those things. I knew I should be crying or screaming or shaking or feeling something but...

It was dark but it was warm so I felt safe. Nothing made me feel more in unsafe than the cold.

And nothing was colder than my husband.

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