Road from Ruin

Chapter Ten

DELTA
"I can't do this." I think I hear in the distance. I can't focus on anything with the worlds softest lips on mine. Wait. They're not on mine anymore. I snap open my eyes to see a disgruntled Red paced back and forth in front of me. I steady myself, wipe my mouth and try to figure out what's going on. We were kissing. The best kiss I've ever had in my entire life. As soon as he grabbed my neck and pulled me towards him I was done for. His body encompassed mine, I swear to god I could feel him everywhere. I was running my hands through his hair when all of a sudden our glorious kiss was ended abruptly. I finally focus on the fact that Red is clearly upset.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what's going on? Did I do something wrong?" I spit out quickly to try to defuse the situation. Red turns to me and let's out a long laboured breath.
"You're drunk angel, I... god I should never have done that. I lost control I promised I wouldn't lose control around you, never around you. Jesus what the fuck is wrong with me." He says seemingly to no one in particular. I can't tell if I'm more embarrassed or hurt. Let's go with embarrassed.
"You clearly think this is a mistake, I'm sorry you feel that way Ben. You're... you're unlike anyone I've ever met before. I appreciate the fact the you're trying to respect me because I've had a couple drinks but I promise you that kiss was completely consensual." I say as I turn to leave. "Not the mention the best kiss of my life." I say under my breath and I walk to open the front door.
"Wait, Delta. Where uh, where are you going?" Red says nervously as he runs his hands through his hair.
"I'm going to get some air on the deck, do some thinking I guess. You should get a good nights sleep you've had a bad day. I'll come down and sleep on the couch when I'm ready. Goodnight Red." I say as I head out the door. I stop briefly to rest my back against the closed door.

I put my head back, look at the ceiling and take the deep breath. I wasn't supposed to feel this way. First I was terrified of this man. Then I wanted to jump his bones to help get over Dean. Finally I decided he was too good of a man to be used like that so I was just going to accept his gracious help and be on my way. That kiss though. It changed everything. Well for me at least, the look in his eyes makes me believe he feels like he made a very big mistake. I walk up the stairs, push open the door to the rooftop patio and slump down in the chair. There are a few times in my life that I have been incredibly embarrassed. Once when I fell on stage at during my ballet recital when I was 14 and a boy in the front row yelled "with knockers like that no wonder she can't keep her balance." Puberty was rough. Another was when Dean got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to the room that I was a prude in bed. Those are moments I constantly look back on and am filled with embarrassment and regret, and now I can confidently say that having the worlds most beautiful man reject me after one single kiss will be added to that list.

Damn I wish I brought a blanket. As much as I love the hot days and cool evenings, my sulking alone outside would be way better if I was more comfortable. I should make a plan. I laugh out loud at the thought of a plan, since I literally grabbed my belongings, put them in my car and changed my entire life in under 10 minutes. I'll stay up here for a while, give Red a chance to cool off and fall asleep so when I go back inside I don't have to face him. I'll set my alarm, get up early and go for a run in an attempt to prolong any interaction with Red. By noon I'll probably have the guts to face him and go down to the shop and swiftly ask when the repairs on my car will be finished. I'll walk to the bank, take out all of my money in cash so I can't be traced, pay whatever I owe on the car and be on my way. It's for the best. This guy doesn't need my issues in his life, he's busy with the club and the shop, he doesn't need me complicating his life. I'll walk away knowing I met a kind stranger who took me in when I needed it most and disappear.

God I need my sister. I pickup my phone and dial her number. "Bea?".